Journal Entry

Friday, May 29, 2009

It is so incredible to me to see the shift in my life and focus. Incredible and wonderful. The entire center of passion and existence for myself and the team is the Gospel. We were all sitting together over dinner in the dark-again-and all we spoke of was the 'God story' and the meaning of the Gospel. We were sharing perspectives, asking questions, looking up scriptures and getting excited. We spoke of the consequences of sin being death, the significance of Christ having to die and the meaning of the resurrection, how best to explain sacrifice, and we read the Bible together with real enthusiasm.

This morning I practiced sharing the 'God story' with the team, for the first time with excitement and not nervousness, and received real encouragement from their response. Half of our conversations are concerning ministry, teaching and sharing the Gospel, confronting religion and false doctrine, and how to make the word understandable and applicable with language barriers. And this is what we WANT to talk about! Not because we have to or that it's our "job", but because this is becoming the very core and center of who we are.

It blew my mind when I realized this tonight. The shift has taken place so gradually, we've moved into it without thinking. Not that it didn't come without challenge or that I wasn't without passion for God's word before. But I feel for the first time I can say He is truly first and foremost in my life and all else stems from this. The realization hit me tonight for the first time and filled me with such joy.

This evening was my first time leading a meeting on my own as Tersia couldn't make it. It was awesome. Two days before we had asked that they read John 1, which was probably a mistake because they only have the original King James Bible. But I sat and we read the first fourteen verses together out of my Bible, which I explained and paraphrased before having them repeat what it means and says about Jesus to them. It was powerful seeing the light go on in their eyes, hearing them translate to each other, and hearing their opinions.

I've had dreams at times of preaching the Gospel, or living out my life with the poor. I dreamed again last night of being home, but I was passionately sharing the 'God story' and living out the Gospel, while preparing to go out again to "the nations". For the first time I woke to the knowledge that my dreams are a reflection of my waking life! Incredible. May it continue to be so.

God is amazing! He is teaching me and growing me so much. But even as He refines me and sloughs off the dead and rough edges, bringing challenges and conviction, He daily teaches me my worth. Every day I see His love and faithfulness to me as I learn to more clearly hear His voice and follow the leading of His Spirit.