Baby Safe 2010 - A Year In Review

In 2010, approximately 500 babies were dumped in Cape Town alone. A result of poverty, abuse, HIV/AIDS, hopelessness and desperation, the challenge seemed overwhelming. And yet…

Even in the midst of seemingly impossible obstacles, the LORD is bringing hope.

In 2010 Baby Safe worked with a recorded total of 238 women and children, and others that were not documented. In one year, we saw 107 women for the Termination of Pregnancy counseling at the local hospital. Of these women, 20 of them changes their minds and made a choice for life-over 1/5th!-and possibly more that went unknown.

We worked with 58 women on an individual level of some kind who made a choice to parent, and saw the birth of 38 babies.

7 babies were successfully placed in loving homes through adoption.

8 children were put in a place of safety in our network of safety families, 4 of whom were placed long term while the other 4 were able to be reunited with their family.

27 women and children experienced intervention or preventing for either difficult or even life-threatening situations, many going through the process of discipleship.

2010 saw the 1st baby left successfully in our baby safe, as 1 brave woman chose to give her child a future rather than dumping it!

These women and children came to us from every background, circumstance, race and region. We worked with countless from our local communities of Masiphumelele, Ocean View, and Fish Hoek, as well as surrounding areas like Muizenberg or even Khayelitsha. They were black, white and colored, Xhosa, Afrikaanse, Zulu, Zimbabwean, Malawian, and more. Each one different. Each one desperate.

Yet the LORD sees each of them and calls them by name. He called them to life and not death, to hope and to healing. He looks upon them and sees his children, forsaken royalty, calling them to a greater destiny. "The nations will see your righteousness, and all kings your glory; and you will be called by a new name which the mouth of the LORD will designate. You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. It will no longer be said to you, "Forsaken," nor to your land will it any longer be said, "Desolate"; but you will be called, "My delight is in her," and your land, "Married"; for the LORD delights in you." -Isaiah 62:2-4.

In 2010, 50+ babies were not dumped. 78+ mothers chose life; they made a plan and sought help instead of a rubbish heap. 27+ women and children walked a road of rescue or restoration, to prevent these circumstances from even happening. 238 lives were touched, changed, challenged.

In 2010, the statistics dropped by 238.

Now in 2011, we look ahead with expectation, that the LORD will do even more!

Reflections & Expectations

As the baking sun beat down on me, I sat with Alli on a filthy curb in the Ocean View township and watched as a pimp helped two of our friends wash our cars. We chatted and bantered back and forth with them and each other, while playing with and loving on local children as we kept an eye on the myriad of shady looking men who kept finding a reason to cross the street and walk by the two white girls. This time last year just driving into Ocean View terrified me. As these thoughts passed through my mind I wanted to bust out laughing. Who am I? What's happened to my life that this is normal and on a certain level even comfortable-that I walk into these situations without even thinking twice? It is incredible to me when I look back and see the journey the LORD has taken me on, and as I look forward to what is ahead.

I have been home now not even two months and already the Father is moving and blowing my mind by the work He is doing. Upon my return and settling in, I felt led to begin this new year by seeking the LORD through prayer and fasting, so I began the month of February with a 10 day Daniel fast. My desire was simply to pursue deeper intimacy with the Father and hopefully receive a word or direction concerning this next season. But in those 10 days He responded so far beyond my expectations!

I felt I should be more focused in my prayers, and so took one portion of the Lord's prayer each day to address specifically in detail. The Father's response was incredible. As I prayed through ministry and mission, desired provision and needs, forgiveness and unity in relationships, as well as protection and equipping in warfare I saw Him answer in specific breakthrough and provision, sometimes even on the same day. A household of young girls I've been connect with all last year, for the first time expressed their desire to me of pursuing a Bible study to learn more about Jesus. We have now had two successful meetings and are continuing!

Another client and friend of mine experienced breakthrough in her own life. She had recently given her heart to the LORD and was pursuing Bible study with me, but days before I left on holiday in the States she informed me her husband was leaving her. The week of my fast we were finally able to reconnect, to find that the LORD had restored her marriage simply through her faithfulness to Him and her response to the situation! She is now gathering friends for Bible study on a larger scale, and I believe the Father is raising her up to be a leader within her own community. Yet another friend and team member experienced the kidnapping of her son by local gang members, and the entire body of All Nations was threatened with violence if we entered Ocean View. As we joined together in prayer and invited fellow prayer warriors to partner with us, he was returned within 24 hours and the threat was removed!

In my own life the LORD continues to provide in every way. On the day I prayed for provision, I received an email saying a woman who had heard me speak at my grandmother's church had written a check for $5,000!! And He recently blessed Nicole and I with a free couch and chairs through friends, so our hospitable natures can host to our heart's content :)

Perhaps one area of both great excitement and challenge is that the Father is calling me to step out even more into my role as a counselor. I continue to do the Termination of Pregnancy (TOP) counseling at the local hospital, and as a team we are praying about taking this on at one or two others. Through this many women have recently chosen life, but the LORD has also opened a new door through post abortion counseling. For the first time women have been asking me for follow-up sessions as they struggle to cope with their emotions following the abortion. I confess as I went to meet them I had little idea what to say, but it was amazing to see how in each situation Jesus shows up, how He gives the exact words to say and meets each woman's heart where she's at and begins the process of healing.

And so as I look forward into this new year and season, I am filled with joyful expectation! Regardless of challenges or the unknown, I know the LORD is faithful and He will make a way and bring breakthrough. He has promised many things, to me personally, to the Baby Safe team, and to the body of All Nations. There will be obstacles and difficulties, but Jehovah is on OUR side and there is nothing that can stand in our way. And I am excited to continue sharing this journey with you my friends as we move forward into the fulness of what He has in store!

Victory!!

Two years ago Baby Safe was founded to address the issue of baby dumping in South Africa, and a safe was installed to allow desperate women a legal and anonymous alternative to this. For two years that safe sat empty. The LORD continued to expand the territories of our ministry, connecting us with hopeless women in all circumstances, and allowing us to intervene in the lives of countless babies through a variety of venues. But not through the safe. Countless prayers were lifted up, strategic questions were asked and explored-was it a bad location? Was it the wrong timing? Was the idea for the safe even from the LORD? But He continued to speak confirmation and patience to us, even as the issue of baby dumping increased and the safe continued unused.

All of that changed last week.

I was on call with the Baby Safe phone, my last rotation before leaving for the Sates on holiday. Early on in my shift there had been a false alarm, something which had happened frequently in the past that we'd grown accustomed to. But as I lay down to sleep that night I had an unshakeable premonition; we're going to receive a baby. Two thoughts crossed my mind after this. 'Wouldn't it be amazing if I was here for our first baby before leaving?' And in my state of exhaustion the next was, 'Please God, just not tonight!'

At 5:30am on Tuesday morning, November 16, the Baby Safe phone went off. As it was already lightening outside I would be able to go to the safe myself without danger, so threw on some jeans and a hat, and grabbed my baby bag and keys. I didn't know what to expect, but decided if there was a baby this time then some backup would be good, so woke up my flatmate. Nicole is an absolute trooper and at 5:40am she willingly jumped in the car with me. We made it in less than 10 minutes, the entire time my mind racing and wondering what we would actually find. Was there really a baby waiting for us, or was it just another false alarm?

When we arrived at the safe I found it had magnetically sealed, so something had either been placed inside or it had experienced great external force. I tried to suppress my hope as I let myself into the back room and went through the routine of disarming the safe in order to open the back. Everything felt surreal. I wasn't able find the light switch so couldn't even see properly as I pulled the hatch back, but there was enough morning light entering the room to distinguish a large bundle resting inside. My heart nearly stopped. Reaching in, my hands encountered a mass of blankets, which unfolding revealed a tiny baby.

I cannot begin to describe the feelings that passed through me in that moment. Wonder, awe, excitement, joy, disbelief, and an overwhelming sense of the honor God had granted me to be here for this. I could hardly contain myself as I reswaddled the baby, gathered her into my arms and opened the door to show Nicole. "We have a baby!" Incredible.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of excitement and activity. The baby girl was maybe three days old, healthy and absolutely perfect, and ironically she was Chinese! At our flat Nicole and I changed, clothed and fed her, while excited and strategic phone calls passed between myself, Alli, and Bethany. It had happened! Now all the plans and procedures set up for so long came in to play, and we found everything came together without a hitch.

We took our tiny charge to the All Nations family meeting that morning, and the spirit of rejoicing was overwhelming. It was a historic day for our team and for our missions body, and a moment of tremendous victory. This child represented life; when so many are aborted, discarded, or later abandoned, the LORD had delivered her and her mother had made another choice. Together our team gathered with her in front of our All Nations family and stood in agreement as their prayers were lifted over the baby's life, and for the future of Baby Safe and the door this has opened.

Later at our staff meeting we named our precious bundle Joy, as Bethany shared how God had given her the name that morning. Maybe it's cliche, but the LORD had rescued and redeemed her, and delivered her from darkness into His purpose and promises, and into His joy. So together as a team we laid our hands upon Joy and consecrated her life unto the LORD, praying over her and the destiny He has in store, rejoicing in the victory of her life and the blessing she is and will be.

Joy is now on her way to a new life and new family through the process of adoption. As we release her to the LORD and the plans He has for her, we look with excitement and expectancy to the future. Our hope is now that as news of Joy spreads, other desperate mothers will choose life through the option of the safe rather than discarding their children. And we stand together in wonder and thanks for the life He has delivered, and the privilege of being here to serve Him in this way. To Him alone be the glory!

Taking Ground

The LORD is Bringing Breakthrough!

"See, the LORD your God has placed the land before you; go up, take possession, as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has spoken to you. Do not fear or be dismayed." -Deuteronomy 1:21

The last month has been an incredible struggle but the reward is worth it. There are new and exciting things taking shape. Two of my priority clients have been on the verge of either huge setback or tremendous strides forward. Our little Andisiwe, removed from abuse and neglect and now flourishing in the care of our safety parents, was potentially going to be removed again and placed back in Masi. Much prayer and constant advocation then went into a plan and proposal to have her placed long term with our current safety fa

mily, but the decision hung on the Magistrate's disposition and understanding. We knew if Andisiwe were placed back in the township, there was huge risk of emotional, psychological and even physical setback, as well as risk of harassment and kidnapping from the parents. But the decision was out of our hands so we could only lift it up to the LORD and trust to His heart and perfect will, whatever the outcome.

At the same time we had begun planning and praying into the removal and long term placement of an older client, sixteen-year-old Nicole, who I have been discipling since April. After her decision to keep her baby boy instead of placing him for adoption, she has faced constant abuse from the relatives with whom she stays. Our desire is to see her in a stable and loving environment where she can finish school and maintain relationship with her son, who is in foster care, until she can parent him herself. But these hopes hung precariously on the mood of her relatives and their threats to send her back to Durban. It seemed the more we tried the more difficult things became.

In the midst of these circumstances the assault on my own life increased. I began suffering sever exhaustion and sleep deprivation, and then my car was broken into and my baby seat was stolen as well as donations from the boot. During this time I faced some of my lowest moments, trying desperately to cling to the promises of God. "He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor 12:9-10)

And God brought breakthrough! On one of my lowest days when I felt I had nothing to give, the Spirit moved and one client gave her heart to Christ, while Nicole later spoke in tongues. Shortly after, the Magistrate ruled in favor of our proposal and Andisiwe was placed for a year with her current safety family. Two days later, we very peacefully picked up Nicole from her families' home and moved her in with a wonderful young missionary couple, who have invited her to stay until we find a permanent placement. Such incredible testimony of the LORD's faithfulness. Regardless of the schemes of the enemy or the plans of men, if we place our hope in Christ and obey then He WILL make a way for us! Thank you for all of the prayers this month which carried both me and my team, and brought change for these precious ones.

Our Team is Expanding!

Baby Safe has added three new dynamic members. We have been joined by Rachel Byrnes, a YWAMer from Scotland, as well as 2010 American CPx members Meehan Shannon and Julie Ostrand; and with them have come exciting new opportunities. Their presence will not only allow us to distribute and carry the workload more easily, but also expand our vision and move in to more territory. We are praying into Rachel and Meehan taking on the Termination of Pregnancy counseling at two other hospitals, allowing us to reach out to more women. Julie has a vision to develop a year-long discipleship, micro-business and job-skills training program for the women in the communities who show growth and commitment, in order to empower them to proactively change their lives and provide for themselves. We cannot wait to see all God has in store!

Seasons

My first full year in South Africa is drawing to a close and the countdown has begun for my holiday in the States! I cannot believe how fast the time has gone (although my family may beg to differ) and how much has taken place. But even as this year draws to a close, new and exciting things are taking shape as God leads me into the next season. I recently moved in to a beautiful new flat with my new flatmate Nicole Lalli, and I could not be more blessed in either circumstance. Though we are living with almost no furniture, the space is wonderful and the LORD keeps providing for all our greatest needs as they arise. We are three doors down from two of our "besties" Christianne and Alison, and Nicole and I gel like pb&j ;)

On December 6th I will be in Tulsa for 6 weeks to see family and friends, and do some support raising as I prepare for next year. It is my intent to return to South Africa on a 3 year visa to continue working with Baby Safe and All Nations. I cannot wait to see everyone, to share my heart and experiences, and to hear all the stories from home! Please join with me in prayer that the LORD would provide for each of my needs, and that my time would be blessed and filled with peace and rest as I head in to this next season. It is a blessing and a privilege to share it with you all!

Equipped

"Thus David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone, and he struck the Philistine and killed him; but there was no sword in David's hand." -1 Samuel 17:50

Sometimes I look down at my hands and see only the absence of a sword; I see only how I am NOT equipped by the standards of the world. But God is always faithful to remind me of the stones in my pouch, and suddenly I am surprised to see the Philistine already conquered in the dust at my feet. For the battle is the LORDs and He has already won; it is HE who equips us for the fight, and it is in order to bring Him glory.

These months have been crazy and exhausting, especially as our team is holding down the fort while Bethany is in the States. This past week alone was unlike anything I've ever experienced. We had calls concerning two abandoned babies, a prostitute trying to poison her entire family, and a drug addict who gave birth; I had as well two crisis intervention meetings involving a client, ten women at abortion counseling, and an hour spent with another young client discussing an emergency removal and placement with a safety family for her. And that was just by Wednesday!

Sometimes in these situations all I feel is my inadequacies. I see only the absence of a sword-I'm not a social worker, I don't have a degree or official "training" outside of what I've experienced here. But every time my Father reminds me of the sling and the stone in my hand, a weapon better suited to my strength and experience. He leads me Himself into battle and suddenly the giant which seemed so daunting is no more than food for carrion.

"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." (Phil 4:13) This week may have been overwhelming and exhausting, but I was also overwhelmed by the realization of who God is and who He is making me. Each situation that arose I was able to march into knowing exactly what to do and handle with confidence, whether sorting out a baby's abandonment with a drunk gogo or being able to make a plan of action with the team concerning various emergencies. Two women changed their minds about abortion, and we celebrated the second birthday of little Andisiwe, delivered out of abuse and neglect into a new life. At house church Thursday night as I sat utterly spent, my friends really affirmed me. This past year has thus far been the most challenging and exhausting of my life, learning to live and cope in a new country and culture, a new job and ministry, new relationships, and often handling things alone. But in spite of it all this year has also been the most rewarding.

My teammate Alli shared with me a picture the LORD gave her of how a father will teach a baby to walk. He sets her down on her feet, wobbly as they are, and then walks ahead with arms outstretched but not touching. As the baby takes one hesitant step at a time he continues to move with her, leading on but not touching as she gains strength and confidence. This season it may at times have felt as though I am alone but the LORD has been there the entire time, His arms outstretched and His hands around me to catch me if I stumble, leading and allowing me to walk in order to gain strength and confidence. My friend Alison said how the LORD has chosen and equipped me according to HIS standards, just as He did with David in anointing a shepherd boy to be king. I may feel sometimes I don't have what it takes, but my Father has fashioned and is preparing me for these tasks, and will bring about triumph for HIS glory. "And he struck the Philistine and killed him; but there was no sword in David's hand."

So I look ahead in confidence and hope, as I prepare to enter the next stages of this season, expectant of what the LORD is going to do. For it is He who calls and also equips. It is He who strengthens my hands for battle and He who gives me peace. My God is bigger than any giant I face and He has already given me the tools for battle. "He does not delight in the strength of the horse; He does not take pleasure in the legs of a man. The LORD favors those who fear Him, those who wait for His lovingkindness." (Ps 147:10-11) So I will wait on Him!

Ransomed

"For this child I prayed, and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of Him."

From my very first month working with Baby Safe in January, I was made aware of Andisiway and her situation. At 18 months old she was was underweight, still being breastfed by an alcoholic mother, and there had been reported violence and abuse from the father. Bethany had been communicating with the social workers in Masiphumelele and advocating for her removal and placement with a safety family. From those very first meetings we began to pray and intercede on her behalf, that the LORD would give us favor and deliver her. It was to become a long and drawn out struggle.

A removal was soon planned by the social workers and Baby Safe was on standby, ready to fetch her as soon as she was safely away. But instead of the expected summons, we were contacted with the news that the mother had taken off with Andisiway and was nowhere to be found. So instead of fetching the little girl, Alli and I drove in to Masi in order to get information and details and discuss future plans. What we found caused no end of frustration and discouragement. Reading over Andisiwe's file we encountered records of abuse and neglect, followed by subsequent warnings, second chances, and no change from her first month of life up until now! The mother had 4 other children as well, all of whom had been removed previously and placed with other family members. How could a cycle like this be allowed to continue?

And so we continued to pray, and to advocate and plan with the social workers again and again for removal. The mother eventually returned, but instead was monitored and given a warning. The cycle of alcoholism and neglect continued however so removals were again planned, only to be met by violent resistance or disappearance. Months passed, each one marked with another attempt and failure, each one filled with prayers for future success and favor.

In July Bethany left for an extended holiday and time of fundraising in the States. As our safety family coordinator I was also entrusted the task of continuing this case with the social workers. Almost immediately we were able to meet and a plan was once again underway. This time they planned to enlist the police, a day and time were set, I arranged a safety family, and we prayed in desperate hope. The day came… and nothing happened. The time came and went, no one contacted me, and none of my calls would go through. I was so disheartened, frustrated and discouraged. How could the LORD allow this to continue? As I went on with the day's work I didn't even feel like praying. What was the use? Was God even listening?

Then at 3 that afternoon (5 hours after the appointed time) I received the call saying, "She's here, come and get her!" I was thrilled beyond belief. Quickly notifying my on-call prayer team via sms and calling our safety mother, I jumped into my car and flew into Masi… only to encounter even more mess! Andisiwe was NOT there, they had allowed her mother to take her to the clinic as a ruse and no one was supervising her, and the police had not even been contacted yet! I sat in that office praying desperately as police were called, instructions given, and plans made. I did not want to come this close, only for it to fall through again!

Events continued to unfold with complete disorganization. Three cars of police showed up when only one was needed and the mother had already taken off for home, so they took off after her. I had stipulated for both my protection and Andisiwe's that her mother not see me, but within minutes a group of police, social workers, and one very drunk and angry mother were ushered into the tiny room where I waited. So there I was, little white girl trapped in the back of the room, come to take this woman's baby who was crying in the social workers arms, with everyone around me yelling in Xhosa. Uncomfortable, to say the least. But they quickly sorted the situation and the mother was escorted out and detained by police until I could leave Masi with Andisiwe.

Once her mother was gone the little girl calmed down tremendously, allowing me to make a preliminary exam before taking off. She was filthy, in a rotting nappy which had been filled at least twice, and at 2 was stick thin and no bigger than a 1 year old. But when we were ready to leave her little face lit up with a beautiful smile as she lifted her tiny arms to wrap around me. As we left Masi I wanted weep with joy. After nearly a year of prayer, effort, and consistent failure and discouragement, the LORD had answered our prayers! The first step in Andisiwe's deliverance had finally been achieved.

In only two weeks Andisiwe is like a completely different child. Full of life, joy, and exuberance she brings no end of delight to her foster family. She is gaining weight and strength by the day, has experienced no withdrawal though she was still receiving breast milk influenced by alcohol upon her removal, and is tackling developmental toys with enthusiasm and a sharp intelligence. It brings great hope and encouragement to us as we now face the next stages of her case.

The enemy in no means goes down without a fight. When you tamper with his plans for a life he will come against you with every weapon in his arsenal. Shortly after Andisiwe's removal I was incapacitated with illness for a week. Upon returning to work I found the social workers were trying to arrange parental visits counter to what had been stipulated by our safety family, and working toward reunification instead of a permanent, safe placement as had previously been planned.

We know that none of this will come easily, but our God is the God of miracles! He has come through thus far, and we believe that despite any difficulties and setbacks, He will continue to do so. And when we look at little Andisiwe and others like her, it is worth every moment of the fight. So please join us in prayer, as we storm the kingdom of darkness and ransom back these lives the enemy would take for his own! Jesus has a destiny for Andisiwe, and we believe we WILL see it come about, exactly as He has planned.

Perfect in Weakness

I stood over the hospital bed in the room behind the ER, sopping up blood as it streamed in ridiculous profusion from the crying baby's finger. We had been deposited in this room with no explanation, other than the child was very sick, and without further ado an iv was inserted into his tiny hand and we were removed to the waiting ward and told he was being admitted and I would have to stay. A nurse came and pricked his finger, leaving it without bandage and me to clean it up with whatever I had on hand and no explanations. This is not how I expected my weekend to pan out…

Barely 24 hours before, Bethany delivered this tiny bundle to me for weekend supervision. Little Abundance was the child of a Baby Safe client, who was sick and unable to cope. The 7 week baby was running a fever with thrush and diarrhea, so we took him into custody in order to give him focused care and his mama a chance to recover. He was tiny, having only gained one kg since birth; he had a talisman around his waist and a nasty egg solution in his hair from the cultic ritual used by the popular local Zionist "church" for protection. Together Bethany and I prayed protection, healing and favor over him and myself while binding the power and bondage of the enemy as we flushed the talisman. When she left I bathed him in the sink before enfolding him in a clean blanket and in my arms, where he stayed the majority of the weekend.

I think both the greatest challenge and the greatest privilege in this line of work lies in taking on the role of a temporary mother. I am never more tired, taxed, or more satisfied than when I take one of these little ones into my home. It proved no different with Abundance. The child of an ill and struggling mother, I new he didn't receive much personal touch and care, so when I wasn't attending to necessary tasks he was cradled in my arms. Restless with fever, he was most calm when sleeping on my chest, so most of the night was spent with his little face pressed against my heart. My waking, and even sleeping thoughts, were directed in prayer for his life and health. I spent Saturday in my pjs - praying, cuddling, listening to worship music, and visiting with my little companion.

But everything changed that afternoon. We knew the baby had a temperature and wanted to monitor it, so Alli purchased and brought me a thermometer late in the day. However, things were suddenly thrown into an entirely new light when the reading showed Abundance's fever had reached 39.6˚C (103.3˚F)! Without further ado, I packed him into my car and rushed to the nearest hospital. Thus began an entirely new aspect of my weekend.

Government hospitals are an experience unlike anything else and my first full-on encounter was no fun. By the grace of God we saw a doctor quickly, but I confess it felt like the grace ended there. Upon seeing Abundance he asked why the baby hadn't been brought sooner, then proceeded to hook up the iv, before having me carry the screaming baby into a back room where we were left and told we were admitted and would have to stay indefinitely. So there I was - no food, no bottle or extra baby things, no basic necessities, no information, blood everywhere, battery almost dead in my phone, and at my wits end! It's a humbling state to be in.

At that point Alli arrived. Having had more extensive experience (both in Africa and their hospitals :-) she was able to help me gain perspective and information, as well as give encouragement. Together we got things sorted out, and she stayed with Abundance while I went home to fetch all the necessary things for our stay. I returned to find them settled in the children's ward for the night, where I exchanged places with Alli and began my vigil.

Motherhood is not simple or romantic. I think it is one of the most difficult jobs there is. It is also one of the most rewarding. The ward was freezing - painfully so. I was given a hard chair by the baby's bed for the night, given the medication and informed when I was to administer it myself, instructed to wake up at 6am to tidy and arrange my space, and then to bathe the baby using my own products (the only ones I had not thought to bring) at 7am. By 11pm Abundance was restless and would not stop crying, and I was emotional and feeling nauseas with exhaustion.

We must have presented quite the picture; the single white American girl with the Zimbabwean baby, in a ward with Xhosa women and their children and colored nurses speaking Afrikaans, no clue what was going on or what to do next. Not surprisingly, my sense of humor wasn't kicking in at that point. To be perfectly frank, I was ready to be done. I was freaked out, angry at the whole situation, and irrationally impatient wishing the baby would just go to sleep! Holding Abundance and swaying back and forth, choking back my weeping, all I could manage to pray was, "God help… God help… God help…"

And He did.

Rocking my tiny charge, I remembered he rested much better skin to skin. Settling myself in the chair and holding him against my chest, my tee-shirt barely allowed room for his face below my neck, but it was enough. Within 10 minutes he was asleep, within 20 his restlessness stilled, and he slept without waking the remainder of the night. Peace stole over my own mind and heart. In that miserable chair and freezing room I managed to sleep myself. The following morning as I helped the nurses with their ministrations and proceeded to feed and care Abundance I was filled with the most extraordinary love and satisfaction. At 8 his mama arrived to take my place and remain with him at the hospital. Surrendering her baby, hugging, encouraging, and praying with her, I knew I would have stayed in a heartbeat.

You never know when you will encounter Jesus. But I can always count on Him when I am at my lowest point; when I am at my weakest, frailest, most selfish and human. 'And He has said to me, "My power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefor, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.' (2 Cor 12:9) Because in our weakest state, there is no other explanation but the power of His presence. And because of this I can be certain that whenever I lay hands on these little ones, they are touched by the very presence of God, through His presence and faithfulness to me.