Changing the Stigma

"But you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!" The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God" -Romans 8:15b-16

I sat on the phone talking to the young pregnant mother, explaining to her that all the signs pointed to her water having broken and coaching her through contractions. Still early in the evening and only in the beginning stages of labour, she hung up saying a friend would get her to the hospital and she would call in the morning. A couple hours later my phone rang again. She was panting so hard through contractions and so panicked from stress it was difficult at first to understand what she was even saying. I soon discerned she had failed to find a ride and was progressing rapidly. After breathing with her over the phone and trying to figure out the situation, she finally gasped out "Will you come fetch me?"

And so Nick and I found ourselves in Masi, trying to navigate in the dark and pouring rain. The township seems to take on an entirely different aspect in the late hours and is difficult to navigate, or distinguish people or places. By a miracle we found her. The poor girl was so stressed she could hardly sit or buckle her seat belt, and we rushed to the emergency room while she squeezed my hand and we breathed together. At the hospital she wasn't even given a wheelchair, but had to walk with me from one end of the hospital to the other. Once we reached the maternity ward she was dressed and left to labor alone across from another mama also preparing to deliver, with only 1 sister (head nurse) and a nurse on staff. Before leaving we prayed together for the birth, for herself and for this new life, and I left to catch some sleep.

I didn't sleep very well as my dreams were full of babies. First thing the next morning I received her call again. The baby had been born barely 20 minutes after we left! It had gone quickly and easily, and both mama and baby were doing fine. As soon as the hospital would allow I drove over for a visit. It is always a miracle to see a new life, never ceasing to amaze me. But this precious baby was accompanied by something almost as miraculous. Her mother was making an adoption plan.

In South Africa and surrounding African countries, there are countless single mothers and unplanned pregnancies. And it seems the numbers of abortions performed and babies dumped are only on the increase. We meet with women daily in various circumstances of crisis needing options. But regardless of situation and desires, it seems adoption is seldom an option.

In a culture where family responsibility is so strong, the stigma against adoption is tremendous. The general opinion continues that regardless of a woman's circumstances or reasons, the most selfish and irresponsible choice she could make is to give her baby to another family. Every week I sit in abortion counseling and discuss other options with these women and girls, but the general opinion still seems to be that it is better to end the child's life than "give it away". The Baby Safe team has prayed without ceasing that the LORD would move on hearts and change the stigma and fear towards adoption, and that mothers would begin to choose life. And recently, these prayers have begun to be answered!

In the last 3 months alone, there have been 4 babies placed for adoption through various circumstances, circumstances where mothers could have taken their babies' lives, but made another choice. And more clients are considering this option as well. In August Baby Safe had our second baby left in our safe, and following this, another baby was found abandoned in the bushes of one of our local areas and brought to us. These mothers could have anonymously dumped their children where they would never be found, but instead chose to leave them in a public place, knowing they would be brought to safety and given a life they could not. And recently another client who had originally wanted abortion, delivered a beautiful baby girl and has begun the process of placing her child with a forever family.

We can never comprehend the feelings of a mother making the ultimate sacrifice so that her child can have life. But we know the LORD understands, and time and time again we see these mothers' countenances miraculously change as He ministers to them HIS heart. We are all the adopted sons of the most high God, and somehow through this process, we all get a new glimpse of Him. We pray daily that the old stigmas will begin to break, and in the lack of other options more families will be willing to make this courageous choice.

Child of Promise

She sat across from me at abortion counseling last August, HIV+, raising 3 children, and now 3 months pregnant with a child not her estranges husband's. By all accounts there was no reason for her to choose life for this baby. But she did. As I explained how with the proper treatment and precautions her baby could be born negative, her countenance changed. As she began to think through and list resources and family support available her hopes rose. Together we made a plan for HIV and pregnancy support, scheduled follow-up, prayed together, and she left having not 1 but 2 lives changed.

I didn't hear from her for months…

In January she called me, not willing to discuss things on the phone but asking to meet. She arrived hugely pregnant and very emotional. In the time which had elapsed her babies father had passed away and with him a huge source of support, leaving her desperate for help and options. We sat and grieved together, asking the Father for wisdom, comfort, and direction. As I explained the options she listened with a quiet calm, and then asked for help making an adoption plan. This is an option very seldom chosen by Xhosa women, especially when you explain that it is forever and you will most likely never see the child again. But regardless of the details and her understanding of the difficulties and sacrifice, she wanted to give her child every opportunity for life abundant with a family who could give this to him.

For 2 months she stayed in touch, checking in and asking questions, calling just to say how she was doing. Then as March came and went she dropped of the grid once more. Finally in April she answered a phone call, to say she had given birth and decided to keep her baby boy. But she was doing well, following the appropriate procedures to prevent his infection with HIV, and said though circumstances were challenging she thought they would all be fine and had sufficient support.

The call came two weeks ago…

I went to meet her and was presented with a beautiful baby boy, 2 months old, strong and healthy with one of the thickest heads of hair I'd ever seen, and his recent test revealed him to be HIV-! But our mutual joy in his life was dampened by the fact that she was not coping. The support she thought she could get by on was insufficient, and caring for yet another child was a greater challenge than expected. She asked that I take him to be placed for adoption. We talked and prayed, she took the weekend to think and be sure, then I made arrangements with the social worker and baby home before fetching him for the night to take him the following morning.

As I gathered around him with my roommate Nicole and my fellow team member Elmien, we anointed him and prayed over his life and destiny. While we prayed I felt the LORD give me the name Isaac as a promise over his life; he is a child born out of impossible circumstances just as the son of Abraham, and with the name meaning "laughter" I felt the LORD laughed over his life, and had much laughter in store for him.

I cannot begin to express my feelings in caring for him that night. In every sense he was a miracle, there being so many reasons he should not even be alive! He should have been aborted 9 months ago, but here he is. He could be infected with the death sentence of HIV/AIDS, but he is healthy and whole! As I held him in my arms I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by the extent the Father will go to to rescue His children, and the honor that He would use me in any small way.

My little "Isaac" is now at the baby house awaiting the adoption process. His mom has signed the papers and is doing well. I continue to stay connected with and pray over both of them, and the incredible destiny the Father has for them each. "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." ~John 10:10

Treasures of Darkness

"I will give you the treasures of darkness, and hidden wealth of secret places, so that you may know that it is I, the LORD, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name." -Isaiah 45:3

The day started like any other. In the dark hours of the morning I came before my Father in prayer, lifting up my day and the many lives He might touch. As I prayed, I began to ask for life over my clients, and over those women and children I had yet to meet who He might bring across my path through Baby Safe. That their lives might be saved, that they would be delivered and transformed; not just "helped" but ransomed from darkness, redeemed and restored.

Why is it we're surprised when the LORD answers our prayers?

I was on call that week, in the middle of a busy day of work and meetings when I got the call to meet a woman and her baby at the King of Kings Baptist Church where we have our safe. I arrived to find an elderly Xhosa woman who we'll call Noxolo, with a sweet 17 month old girl who turned out to be her granddaughter, who we'll call Lungiswa. As we sat in the back office Noxolo began to pour out her circumstances and ask for help. Her daughter, Lungiswa's mother, was living off-and-on the streets with no job, struggling with alcohol, and Lungiswa's father was in prison. Noxolo had become her granddaughter's primary caregiver while continuing to provide for her own teenage son. But recently, she'd lost her job and now the entire family was struggling just to eat. As she ended her story she looked into my eyes and asked, "Will you take her?"

I was shocked. Usually when a family comes to us for help placing their child is a last resort. But as Noxolo sat before me she saw no hope, no help, no options. So we agreed on a temporary plan where we could take her granddaughter for a period of 3 months while Baby Safe would help her try to get another job and make plans for Lungiswa's longterm care, either with Noxolo or other family. As we discussed plans it came out that she had another grand-baby, who she said was only weeks old and living wherever his mother chose to take him. Her concern was great for this baby, as a previous grandchild had died, and with the mother's current irresponsibility she feared he may as well. Would we take this baby too?

Our Father has a sense of humor. I could almost sense Him laughing as I and my teammates scrambled around making calls, plans and arrangements, figuring out immediate needs and potential longterm solutions. "You wanted to change lives didn't you? Well, here's a group of them!" Miraculously we had two-and only two!-safety families able to take a child for an immediate placement over a prolonged period of time. The following day Lungiswa was safely in the arms and home of some wonderful friends, playing with their own sweet boys. During that time Bethany met with Noxolo to discuss her grand-baby and arrange a meeting with her daughter.

Miraculously, she showed up! And the circle of influence only continued to expand after Bethany and I drove into Masiphumelele to meet with her. Noxolo's daughter, who we'll call Patricia, was living temporarily in a friends shabeen (a bar run in their home). As we chatted about her baby, her circumstances and alcoholism, she willing brought her little boy to us and asked for safe care for him, and help for herself to recover and work on a plan to enable her to work and care for her children herself!

And so our journey began. It has been over a month now, and it is incredible to see the hand of the LORD in every circumstance. So many times when struggling mothers place their babies, they continue in their previous cycles without any effort to change, and the struggle is huge. But Patricia has shown amazing desire for change, taking initiative and rarely missing a meeting. She has created a CV (resume') and signed up for AA, while attending weekly meetings with both her children and their safety families. Lungiswa is the resident princess and life of the party with her two temporary brothers and the family that welcomed her into their home and hearts. Noxolo now has part time work, and continues to look for an even better job. And Patricia's precious baby boy grows in strength and health at the home of yet more friends to Baby Safe while continuing to bond with his mother during frequent visits. It is amazing to see the recognition in one so small, and the connection the Father weaves between the hearts of a mother and child.

As we move forward I continue to pray for life, and I know the LORD answers! I am praying for life and life abundant for Patricia, her children, and her mother Noxolo. For reconciliation in relationships, release from addictions, provision of needs. That Patricia would be empowered to be a strong, competent woman able to provide for and love her children, and that these children would grow up in love, freedom, and security. I pray they all would arise and live in the destiny the Father has created them for, for they are the wealth of secret places, treasures hidden in darkness called forth into light!

Baby Safe 2010 - A Year In Review

In 2010, approximately 500 babies were dumped in Cape Town alone. A result of poverty, abuse, HIV/AIDS, hopelessness and desperation, the challenge seemed overwhelming. And yet…

Even in the midst of seemingly impossible obstacles, the LORD is bringing hope.

In 2010 Baby Safe worked with a recorded total of 238 women and children, and others that were not documented. In one year, we saw 107 women for the Termination of Pregnancy counseling at the local hospital. Of these women, 20 of them changes their minds and made a choice for life-over 1/5th!-and possibly more that went unknown.

We worked with 58 women on an individual level of some kind who made a choice to parent, and saw the birth of 38 babies.

7 babies were successfully placed in loving homes through adoption.

8 children were put in a place of safety in our network of safety families, 4 of whom were placed long term while the other 4 were able to be reunited with their family.

27 women and children experienced intervention or preventing for either difficult or even life-threatening situations, many going through the process of discipleship.

2010 saw the 1st baby left successfully in our baby safe, as 1 brave woman chose to give her child a future rather than dumping it!

These women and children came to us from every background, circumstance, race and region. We worked with countless from our local communities of Masiphumelele, Ocean View, and Fish Hoek, as well as surrounding areas like Muizenberg or even Khayelitsha. They were black, white and colored, Xhosa, Afrikaanse, Zulu, Zimbabwean, Malawian, and more. Each one different. Each one desperate.

Yet the LORD sees each of them and calls them by name. He called them to life and not death, to hope and to healing. He looks upon them and sees his children, forsaken royalty, calling them to a greater destiny. "The nations will see your righteousness, and all kings your glory; and you will be called by a new name which the mouth of the LORD will designate. You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. It will no longer be said to you, "Forsaken," nor to your land will it any longer be said, "Desolate"; but you will be called, "My delight is in her," and your land, "Married"; for the LORD delights in you." -Isaiah 62:2-4.

In 2010, 50+ babies were not dumped. 78+ mothers chose life; they made a plan and sought help instead of a rubbish heap. 27+ women and children walked a road of rescue or restoration, to prevent these circumstances from even happening. 238 lives were touched, changed, challenged.

In 2010, the statistics dropped by 238.

Now in 2011, we look ahead with expectation, that the LORD will do even more!

Reflections & Expectations

As the baking sun beat down on me, I sat with Alli on a filthy curb in the Ocean View township and watched as a pimp helped two of our friends wash our cars. We chatted and bantered back and forth with them and each other, while playing with and loving on local children as we kept an eye on the myriad of shady looking men who kept finding a reason to cross the street and walk by the two white girls. This time last year just driving into Ocean View terrified me. As these thoughts passed through my mind I wanted to bust out laughing. Who am I? What's happened to my life that this is normal and on a certain level even comfortable-that I walk into these situations without even thinking twice? It is incredible to me when I look back and see the journey the LORD has taken me on, and as I look forward to what is ahead.

I have been home now not even two months and already the Father is moving and blowing my mind by the work He is doing. Upon my return and settling in, I felt led to begin this new year by seeking the LORD through prayer and fasting, so I began the month of February with a 10 day Daniel fast. My desire was simply to pursue deeper intimacy with the Father and hopefully receive a word or direction concerning this next season. But in those 10 days He responded so far beyond my expectations!

I felt I should be more focused in my prayers, and so took one portion of the Lord's prayer each day to address specifically in detail. The Father's response was incredible. As I prayed through ministry and mission, desired provision and needs, forgiveness and unity in relationships, as well as protection and equipping in warfare I saw Him answer in specific breakthrough and provision, sometimes even on the same day. A household of young girls I've been connect with all last year, for the first time expressed their desire to me of pursuing a Bible study to learn more about Jesus. We have now had two successful meetings and are continuing!

Another client and friend of mine experienced breakthrough in her own life. She had recently given her heart to the LORD and was pursuing Bible study with me, but days before I left on holiday in the States she informed me her husband was leaving her. The week of my fast we were finally able to reconnect, to find that the LORD had restored her marriage simply through her faithfulness to Him and her response to the situation! She is now gathering friends for Bible study on a larger scale, and I believe the Father is raising her up to be a leader within her own community. Yet another friend and team member experienced the kidnapping of her son by local gang members, and the entire body of All Nations was threatened with violence if we entered Ocean View. As we joined together in prayer and invited fellow prayer warriors to partner with us, he was returned within 24 hours and the threat was removed!

In my own life the LORD continues to provide in every way. On the day I prayed for provision, I received an email saying a woman who had heard me speak at my grandmother's church had written a check for $5,000!! And He recently blessed Nicole and I with a free couch and chairs through friends, so our hospitable natures can host to our heart's content :)

Perhaps one area of both great excitement and challenge is that the Father is calling me to step out even more into my role as a counselor. I continue to do the Termination of Pregnancy (TOP) counseling at the local hospital, and as a team we are praying about taking this on at one or two others. Through this many women have recently chosen life, but the LORD has also opened a new door through post abortion counseling. For the first time women have been asking me for follow-up sessions as they struggle to cope with their emotions following the abortion. I confess as I went to meet them I had little idea what to say, but it was amazing to see how in each situation Jesus shows up, how He gives the exact words to say and meets each woman's heart where she's at and begins the process of healing.

And so as I look forward into this new year and season, I am filled with joyful expectation! Regardless of challenges or the unknown, I know the LORD is faithful and He will make a way and bring breakthrough. He has promised many things, to me personally, to the Baby Safe team, and to the body of All Nations. There will be obstacles and difficulties, but Jehovah is on OUR side and there is nothing that can stand in our way. And I am excited to continue sharing this journey with you my friends as we move forward into the fulness of what He has in store!