"Thus David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone, and he struck the Philistine and killed him; but there was no sword in David's hand." -1 Samuel 17:50
Sometimes I look down at my hands and see only the absence of a sword; I see only how I am NOT equipped by the standards of the world. But God is always faithful to remind me of the stones in my pouch, and suddenly I am surprised to see the Philistine already conquered in the dust at my feet. For the battle is the LORDs and He has already won; it is HE who equips us for the fight, and it is in order to bring Him glory.
These months have been crazy and exhausting, especially as our team is holding down the fort while Bethany is in the States. This past week alone was unlike anything I've ever experienced. We had calls concerning two abandoned babies, a prostitute trying to poison her entire family, and a drug addict who gave birth; I had as well two crisis intervention meetings involving a client, ten women at abortion counseling, and an hour spent with another young client discussing an emergency removal and placement with a safety family for her. And that was just by Wednesday!
Sometimes in these situations all I feel is my inadequacies. I see only the absence of a sword-I'm not a social worker, I don't have a degree or official "training" outside of what I've experienced here. But every time my Father reminds me of the sling and the stone in my hand, a weapon better suited to my strength and experience. He leads me Himself into battle and suddenly the giant which seemed so daunting is no more than food for carrion.
"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." (Phil 4:13) This week may have been overwhelming and exhausting, but I was also overwhelmed by the realization of who God is and who He is making me. Each situation that arose I was able to march into knowing exactly what to do and handle with confidence, whether sorting out a baby's abandonment with a drunk gogo or being able to make a plan of action with the team concerning various emergencies. Two women changed their minds about abortion, and we celebrated the second birthday of little Andisiwe, delivered out of abuse and neglect into a new life. At house church Thursday night as I sat utterly spent, my friends really affirmed me. This past year has thus far been the most challenging and exhausting of my life, learning to live and cope in a new country and culture, a new job and ministry, new relationships, and often handling things alone. But in spite of it all this year has also been the most rewarding.
My teammate Alli shared with me a picture the LORD gave her of how a father will teach a baby to walk. He sets her down on her feet, wobbly as they are, and then walks ahead with arms outstretched but not touching. As the baby takes one hesitant step at a time he continues to move with her, leading on but not touching as she gains strength and confidence. This season it may at times have felt as though I am alone but the LORD has been there the entire time, His arms outstretched and His hands around me to catch me if I stumble, leading and allowing me to walk in order to gain strength and confidence. My friend Alison said how the LORD has chosen and equipped me according to HIS standards, just as He did with David in anointing a shepherd boy to be king. I may feel sometimes I don't have what it takes, but my Father has fashioned and is preparing me for these tasks, and will bring about triumph for HIS glory. "And he struck the Philistine and killed him; but there was no sword in David's hand."
So I look ahead in confidence and hope, as I prepare to enter the next stages of this season, expectant of what the LORD is going to do. For it is He who calls and also equips. It is He who strengthens my hands for battle and He who gives me peace. My God is bigger than any giant I face and He has already given me the tools for battle. "He does not delight in the strength of the horse; He does not take pleasure in the legs of a man. The LORD favors those who fear Him, those who wait for His lovingkindness." (Ps 147:10-11) So I will wait on Him!
