"Blessed is She..." -Luke 1:45

Changing the Stigma

2011-12-05T06:48:00.000-08:00

"But you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!" The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God" -Romans 8:15b-16

I sat on the phone talking to the young pregnant mother, explaining to her that all the signs pointed to her water having broken and coaching her through contractions. Still early in the evening and only in the beginning stages of labour, she hung up saying a friend would get her to the hospital and she would call in the morning. A couple hours later my phone rang again. She was panting so hard through contractions and so panicked from stress it was difficult at first to understand what she was even saying. I soon discerned she had failed to find a ride and was progressing rapidly. After breathing with her over the phone and trying to figure out the situation, she finally gasped out "Will you come fetch me?"

And so Nick and I found ourselves in Masi, trying to navigate in the dark and pouring rain. The township seems to take on an entirely different aspect in the late hours and is difficult to navigate, or distinguish people or places. By a miracle we found her. The poor girl was so stressed she could hardly sit or buckle her seat belt, and we rushed to the emergency room while she squeezed my hand and we breathed together. At the hospital she wasn't even given a wheelchair, but had to walk with me from one end of the hospital to the other. Once we reached the maternity ward she was dressed and left to labor alone across from another mama also preparing to deliver, with only 1 sister (head nurse) and a nurse on staff. Before leaving we prayed together for the birth, for herself and for this new life, and I left to catch some sleep.

I didn't sleep very well as my dreams were full of babies. First thing the next morning I received her call again. The baby had been born barely 20 minutes after we left! It had gone quickly and easily, and both mama and baby were doing fine. As soon as the hospital would allow I drove over for a visit. It is always a miracle to see a new life, never ceasing to amaze me. But this precious baby was accompanied by something almost as miraculous. Her mother was making an adoption plan.

In South Africa and surrounding African countries, there are countless single mothers and unplanned pregnancies. And it seems the numbers of abortions performed and babies dumped are only on the increase. We meet with women daily in various circumstances of crisis needing options. But regardless of situation and desires, it seems adoption is seldom an option.

In a culture where family responsibility is so strong, the stigma against adoption is tremendous. The general opinion continues that regardless of a woman's circumstances or reasons, the most selfish and irresponsible choice she could make is to give her baby to another family. Every week I sit in abortion counseling and discuss other options with these women and girls, but the general opinion still seems to be that it is better to end the child's life than "give it away". The Baby Safe team has prayed without ceasing that the LORD would move on hearts and change the stigma and fear towards adoption, and that mothers would begin to choose life. And recently, these prayers have begun to be answered!

In the last 3 months alone, there have been 4 babies placed for adoption through various circumstances, circumstances where mothers could have taken their babies' lives, but made another choice. And more clients are considering this option as well. In August Baby Safe had our second baby left in our safe, and following this, another baby was found abandoned in the bushes of one of our local areas and brought to us. These mothers could have anonymously dumped their children where they would never be found, but instead chose to leave them in a public place, knowing they would be brought to safety and given a life they could not. And recently another client who had originally wanted abortion, delivered a beautiful baby girl and has begun the process of placing her child with a forever family.

We can never comprehend the feelings of a mother making the ultimate sacrifice so that her child can have life. But we know the LORD understands, and time and time again we see these mothers' countenances miraculously change as He ministers to them HIS heart. We are all the adopted sons of the most high God, and somehow through this process, we all get a new glimpse of Him. We pray daily that the old stigmas will begin to break, and in the lack of other options more families will be willing to make this courageous choice.

Child of Promise

2011-06-12T12:03:00.000-07:00

She sat across from me at abortion counseling last August, HIV+, raising 3 children, and now 3 months pregnant with a child not her estranges husband's. By all accounts there was no reason for her to choose life for this baby. But she did. As I explained how with the proper treatment and precautions her baby could be born negative, her countenance changed. As she began to think through and list resources and family support available her hopes rose. Together we made a plan for HIV and pregnancy support, scheduled follow-up, prayed together, and she left having not 1 but 2 lives changed.

I didn't hear from her for months…

In January she called me, not willing to discuss things on the phone but asking to meet. She arrived hugely pregnant and very emotional. In the time which had elapsed her babies father had passed away and with him a huge source of support, leaving her desperate for help and options. We sat and grieved together, asking the Father for wisdom, comfort, and direction. As I explained the options she listened with a quiet calm, and then asked for help making an adoption plan. This is an option very seldom chosen by Xhosa women, especially when you explain that it is forever and you will most likely never see the child again. But regardless of the details and her understanding of the difficulties and sacrifice, she wanted to give her child every opportunity for life abundant with a family who could give this to him.

For 2 months she stayed in touch, checking in and asking questions, calling just to say how she was doing. Then as March came and went she dropped of the grid once more. Finally in April she answered a phone call, to say she had given birth and decided to keep her baby boy. But she was doing well, following the appropriate procedures to prevent his infection with HIV, and said though circumstances were challenging she thought they would all be fine and had sufficient support.

The call came two weeks ago…

I went to meet her and was presented with a beautiful baby boy, 2 months old, strong and healthy with one of the thickest heads of hair I'd ever seen, and his recent test revealed him to be HIV-! But our mutual joy in his life was dampened by the fact that she was not coping. The support she thought she could get by on was insufficient, and caring for yet another child was a greater challenge than expected. She asked that I take him to be placed for adoption. We talked and prayed, she took the weekend to think and be sure, then I made arrangements with the social worker and baby home before fetching him for the night to take him the following morning.

As I gathered around him with my roommate Nicole and my fellow team member Elmien, we anointed him and prayed over his life and destiny. While we prayed I felt the LORD give me the name Isaac as a promise over his life; he is a child born out of impossible circumstances just as the son of Abraham, and with the name meaning "laughter" I felt the LORD laughed over his life, and had much laughter in store for him.

I cannot begin to express my feelings in caring for him that night. In every sense he was a miracle, there being so many reasons he should not even be alive! He should have been aborted 9 months ago, but here he is. He could be infected with the death sentence of HIV/AIDS, but he is healthy and whole! As I held him in my arms I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by the extent the Father will go to to rescue His children, and the honor that He would use me in any small way.

My little "Isaac" is now at the baby house awaiting the adoption process. His mom has signed the papers and is doing well. I continue to stay connected with and pray over both of them, and the incredible destiny the Father has for them each. "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." ~John 10:10

Treasures of Darkness

2011-05-09T08:05:00.000-07:00

"I will give you the treasures of darkness, and hidden wealth of secret places, so that you may know that it is I, the LORD, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name." -Isaiah 45:3

The day started like any other. In the dark hours of the morning I came before my Father in prayer, lifting up my day and the many lives He might touch. As I prayed, I began to ask for life over my clients, and over those women and children I had yet to meet who He might bring across my path through Baby Safe. That their lives might be saved, that they would be delivered and transformed; not just "helped" but ransomed from darkness, redeemed and restored.

Why is it we're surprised when the LORD answers our prayers?

I was on call that week, in the middle of a busy day of work and meetings when I got the call to meet a woman and her baby at the King of Kings Baptist Church where we have our safe. I arrived to find an elderly Xhosa woman who we'll call Noxolo, with a sweet 17 month old girl who turned out to be her granddaughter, who we'll call Lungiswa. As we sat in the back office Noxolo began to pour out her circumstances and ask for help. Her daughter, Lungiswa's mother, was living off-and-on the streets with no job, struggling with alcohol, and Lungiswa's father was in prison. Noxolo had become her granddaughter's primary caregiver while continuing to provide for her own teenage son. But recently, she'd lost her job and now the entire family was struggling just to eat. As she ended her story she looked into my eyes and asked, "Will you take her?"

I was shocked. Usually when a family comes to us for help placing their child is a last resort. But as Noxolo sat before me she saw no hope, no help, no options. So we agreed on a temporary plan where we could take her granddaughter for a period of 3 months while Baby Safe would help her try to get another job and make plans for Lungiswa's longterm care, either with Noxolo or other family. As we discussed plans it came out that she had another grand-baby, who she said was only weeks old and living wherever his mother chose to take him. Her concern was great for this baby, as a previous grandchild had died, and with the mother's current irresponsibility she feared he may as well. Would we take this baby too?

Our Father has a sense of humor. I could almost sense Him laughing as I and my teammates scrambled around making calls, plans and arrangements, figuring out immediate needs and potential longterm solutions. "You wanted to change lives didn't you? Well, here's a group of them!" Miraculously we had two-and only two!-safety families able to take a child for an immediate placement over a prolonged period of time. The following day Lungiswa was safely in the arms and home of some wonderful friends, playing with their own sweet boys. During that time Bethany met with Noxolo to discuss her grand-baby and arrange a meeting with her daughter.

Miraculously, she showed up! And the circle of influence only continued to expand after Bethany and I drove into Masiphumelele to meet with her. Noxolo's daughter, who we'll call Patricia, was living temporarily in a friends shabeen (a bar run in their home). As we chatted about her baby, her circumstances and alcoholism, she willing brought her little boy to us and asked for safe care for him, and help for herself to recover and work on a plan to enable her to work and care for her children herself!

And so our journey began. It has been over a month now, and it is incredible to see the hand of the LORD in every circumstance. So many times when struggling mothers place their babies, they continue in their previous cycles without any effort to change, and the struggle is huge. But Patricia has shown amazing desire for change, taking initiative and rarely missing a meeting. She has created a CV (resume') and signed up for AA, while attending weekly meetings with both her children and their safety families. Lungiswa is the resident princess and life of the party with her two temporary brothers and the family that welcomed her into their home and hearts. Noxolo now has part time work, and continues to look for an even better job. And Patricia's precious baby boy grows in strength and health at the home of yet more friends to Baby Safe while continuing to bond with his mother during frequent visits. It is amazing to see the recognition in one so small, and the connection the Father weaves between the hearts of a mother and child.

As we move forward I continue to pray for life, and I know the LORD answers! I am praying for life and life abundant for Patricia, her children, and her mother Noxolo. For reconciliation in relationships, release from addictions, provision of needs. That Patricia would be empowered to be a strong, competent woman able to provide for and love her children, and that these children would grow up in love, freedom, and security. I pray they all would arise and live in the destiny the Father has created them for, for they are the wealth of secret places, treasures hidden in darkness called forth into light!

Baby Safe 2010 - A Year In Review

2011-03-18T04:28:00.000-07:00

In 2010, approximately 500 babies were dumped in Cape Town alone. A result of poverty, abuse, HIV/AIDS, hopelessness and desperation, the challenge seemed overwhelming. And yet…

Even in the midst of seemingly impossible obstacles, the LORD is bringing hope.

In 2010 Baby Safe worked with a recorded total of 238 women and children, and others that were not documented. In one year, we saw 107 women for the Termination of Pregnancy counseling at the local hospital. Of these women, 20 of them changes their minds and made a choice for life-over 1/5th!-and possibly more that went unknown.

We worked with 58 women on an individual level of some kind who made a choice to parent, and saw the birth of 38 babies.

7 babies were successfully placed in loving homes through adoption.

8 children were put in a place of safety in our network of safety families, 4 of whom were placed long term while the other 4 were able to be reunited with their family.

27 women and children experienced intervention or preventing for either difficult or even life-threatening situations, many going through the process of discipleship.

2010 saw the 1st baby left successfully in our baby safe, as 1 brave woman chose to give her child a future rather than dumping it!

These women and children came to us from every background, circumstance, race and region. We worked with countless from our local communities of Masiphumelele, Ocean View, and Fish Hoek, as well as surrounding areas like Muizenberg or even Khayelitsha. They were black, white and colored, Xhosa, Afrikaanse, Zulu, Zimbabwean, Malawian, and more. Each one different. Each one desperate.

Yet the LORD sees each of them and calls them by name. He called them to life and not death, to hope and to healing. He looks upon them and sees his children, forsaken royalty, calling them to a greater destiny. "The nations will see your righteousness, and all kings your glory; and you will be called by a new name which the mouth of the LORD will designate. You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. It will no longer be said to you, "Forsaken," nor to your land will it any longer be said, "Desolate"; but you will be called, "My delight is in her," and your land, "Married"; for the LORD delights in you." -Isaiah 62:2-4.

In 2010, 50+ babies were not dumped. 78+ mothers chose life; they made a plan and sought help instead of a rubbish heap. 27+ women and children walked a road of rescue or restoration, to prevent these circumstances from even happening. 238 lives were touched, changed, challenged.

In 2010, the statistics dropped by 238.

Now in 2011, we look ahead with expectation, that the LORD will do even more!

Reflections & Expectations

2011-03-05T06:30:00.000-08:00

As the baking sun beat down on me, I sat with Alli on a filthy curb in the Ocean View township and watched as a pimp helped two of our friends wash our cars. We chatted and bantered back and forth with them and each other, while playing with and loving on local children as we kept an eye on the myriad of shady looking men who kept finding a reason to cross the street and walk by the two white girls. This time last year just driving into Ocean View terrified me. As these thoughts passed through my mind I wanted to bust out laughing. Who am I? What's happened to my life that this is normal and on a certain level even comfortable-that I walk into these situations without even thinking twice? It is incredible to me when I look back and see the journey the LORD has taken me on, and as I look forward to what is ahead.

I have been home now not even two months and already the Father is moving and blowing my mind by the work He is doing. Upon my return and settling in, I felt led to begin this new year by seeking the LORD through prayer and fasting, so I began the month of February with a 10 day Daniel fast. My desire was simply to pursue deeper intimacy with the Father and hopefully receive a word or direction concerning this next season. But in those 10 days He responded so far beyond my expectations!

I felt I should be more focused in my prayers, and so took one portion of the Lord's prayer each day to address specifically in detail. The Father's response was incredible. As I prayed through ministry and mission, desired provision and needs, forgiveness and unity in relationships, as well as protection and equipping in warfare I saw Him answer in specific breakthrough and provision, sometimes even on the same day. A household of young girls I've been connect with all last year, for the first time expressed their desire to me of pursuing a Bible study to learn more about Jesus. We have now had two successful meetings and are continuing!

Another client and friend of mine experienced breakthrough in her own life. She had recently given her heart to the LORD and was pursuing Bible study with me, but days before I left on holiday in the States she informed me her husband was leaving her. The week of my fast we were finally able to reconnect, to find that the LORD had restored her marriage simply through her faithfulness to Him and her response to the situation! She is now gathering friends for Bible study on a larger scale, and I believe the Father is raising her up to be a leader within her own community. Yet another friend and team member experienced the kidnapping of her son by local gang members, and the entire body of All Nations was threatened with violence if we entered Ocean View. As we joined together in prayer and invited fellow prayer warriors to partner with us, he was returned within 24 hours and the threat was removed!

In my own life the LORD continues to provide in every way. On the day I prayed for provision, I received an email saying a woman who had heard me speak at my grandmother's church had written a check for $5,000!! And He recently blessed Nicole and I with a free couch and chairs through friends, so our hospitable natures can host to our heart's content :)

Perhaps one area of both great excitement and challenge is that the Father is calling me to step out even more into my role as a counselor. I continue to do the Termination of Pregnancy (TOP) counseling at the local hospital, and as a team we are praying about taking this on at one or two others. Through this many women have recently chosen life, but the LORD has also opened a new door through post abortion counseling. For the first time women have been asking me for follow-up sessions as they struggle to cope with their emotions following the abortion. I confess as I went to meet them I had little idea what to say, but it was amazing to see how in each situation Jesus shows up, how He gives the exact words to say and meets each woman's heart where she's at and begins the process of healing.

And so as I look forward into this new year and season, I am filled with joyful expectation! Regardless of challenges or the unknown, I know the LORD is faithful and He will make a way and bring breakthrough. He has promised many things, to me personally, to the Baby Safe team, and to the body of All Nations. There will be obstacles and difficulties, but Jehovah is on OUR side and there is nothing that can stand in our way. And I am excited to continue sharing this journey with you my friends as we move forward into the fulness of what He has in store!

Victory!!

2010-11-20T03:15:00.001-08:00

Two years ago Baby Safe was founded to address the issue of baby dumping in South Africa, and a safe was installed to allow desperate women a legal and anonymous alternative to this. For two years that safe sat empty. The LORD continued to expand the territories of our ministry, connecting us with hopeless women in all circumstances, and allowing us to intervene in the lives of countless babies through a variety of venues. But not through the safe. Countless prayers were lifted up, strategic questions were asked and explored-was it a bad location? Was it the wrong timing? Was the idea for the safe even from the LORD? But He continued to speak confirmation and patience to us, even as the issue of baby dumping increased and the safe continued unused.

All of that changed last week.

I was on call with the Baby Safe phone, my last rotation before leaving for the Sates on holiday. Early on in my shift there had been a false alarm, something which had happened frequently in the past that we'd grown accustomed to. But as I lay down to sleep that night I had an unshakeable premonition; we're going to receive a baby. Two thoughts crossed my mind after this. 'Wouldn't it be amazing if I was here for our first baby before leaving?' And in my state of exhaustion the next was, 'Please God, just not tonight!'

At 5:30am on Tuesday morning, November 16, the Baby Safe phone went off. As it was already lightening outside I would be able to go to the safe myself without danger, so threw on some jeans and a hat, and grabbed my baby bag and keys. I didn't know what to expect, but decided if there was a baby this time then some backup would be good, so woke up my flatmate. Nicole is an absolute trooper and at 5:40am she willingly jumped in the car with me. We made it in less than 10 minutes, the entire time my mind racing and wondering what we would actually find. Was there really a baby waiting for us, or was it just another false alarm?

When we arrived at the safe I found it had magnetically sealed, so something had either been placed inside or it had experienced great external force. I tried to suppress my hope as I let myself into the back room and went through the routine of disarming the safe in order to open the back. Everything felt surreal. I wasn't able find the light switch so couldn't even see properly as I pulled the hatch back, but there was enough morning light entering the room to distinguish a large bundle resting inside. My heart nearly stopped. Reaching in, my hands encountered a mass of blankets, which unfolding revealed a tiny baby.

I cannot begin to describe the feelings that passed through me in that moment. Wonder, awe, excitement, joy, disbelief, and an overwhelming sense of the honor God had granted me to be here for this. I could hardly contain myself as I reswaddled the baby, gathered her into my arms and opened the door to show Nicole. "We have a baby!" Incredible.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of excitement and activity. The baby girl was maybe three days old, healthy and absolutely perfect, and ironically she was Chinese! At our flat Nicole and I changed, clothed and fed her, while excited and strategic phone calls passed between myself, Alli, and Bethany. It had happened! Now all the plans and procedures set up for so long came in to play, and we found everything came together without a hitch.

We took our tiny charge to the All Nations family meeting that morning, and the spirit of rejoicing was overwhelming. It was a historic day for our team and for our missions body, and a moment of tremendous victory. This child represented life; when so many are aborted, discarded, or later abandoned, the LORD had delivered her and her mother had made another choice. Together our team gathered with her in front of our All Nations family and stood in agreement as their prayers were lifted over the baby's life, and for the future of Baby Safe and the door this has opened.

Later at our staff meeting we named our precious bundle Joy, as Bethany shared how God had given her the name that morning. Maybe it's cliche, but the LORD had rescued and redeemed her, and delivered her from darkness into His purpose and promises, and into His joy. So together as a team we laid our hands upon Joy and consecrated her life unto the LORD, praying over her and the destiny He has in store, rejoicing in the victory of her life and the blessing she is and will be.

Joy is now on her way to a new life and new family through the process of adoption. As we release her to the LORD and the plans He has for her, we look with excitement and expectancy to the future. Our hope is now that as news of Joy spreads, other desperate mothers will choose life through the option of the safe rather than discarding their children. And we stand together in wonder and thanks for the life He has delivered, and the privilege of being here to serve Him in this way. To Him alone be the glory!

Taking Ground

2010-11-13T05:37:00.001-08:00

The LORD is Bringing Breakthrough!

"See, the LORD your God has placed the land before you; go up, take possession, as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has spoken to you. Do not fear or be dismayed." -Deuteronomy 1:21

The last month has been an incredible struggle but the reward is worth it. There are new and exciting things taking shape. Two of my priority clients have been on the verge of either huge setback or tremendous strides forward. Our little Andisiwe, removed from abuse and neglect and now flourishing in the care of our safety parents, was potentially going to be removed again and placed back in Masi. Much prayer and constant advocation then went into a plan and proposal to have her placed long term with our current safety fa

mily, but the decision hung on the Magistrate's disposition and understanding. We knew if Andisiwe were placed back in the township, there was huge risk of emotional, psychological and even physical setback, as well as risk of harassment and kidnapping from the parents. But the decision was out of our hands so we could only lift it up to the LORD and trust to His heart and perfect will, whatever the outcome.

At the same time we had begun planning and praying into the removal and long term placement of an older client, sixteen-year-old Nicole, who I have been discipling since April. After her decision to keep her baby boy instead of placing him for adoption, she has faced constant abuse from the relatives with whom she stays. Our desire is to see her in a stable and loving environment where she can finish school and maintain relationship with her son, who is in foster care, until she can parent him herself. But these hopes hung precariously on the mood of her relatives and their threats to send her back to Durban. It seemed the more we tried the more difficult things became.

In the midst of these circumstances the assault on my own life increased. I began suffering sever exhaustion and sleep deprivation, and then my car was broken into and my baby seat was stolen as well as donations from the boot. During this time I faced some of my lowest moments, trying desperately to cling to the promises of God. "He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor 12:9-10)

And God brought breakthrough! On one of my lowest days when I felt I had nothing to give, the Spirit moved and one client gave her heart to Christ, while Nicole later spoke in tongues. Shortly after, the Magistrate ruled in favor of our proposal and Andisiwe was placed for a year with her current safety family. Two days later, we very peacefully picked up Nicole from her families' home and moved her in with a wonderful young missionary couple, who have invited her to stay until we find a permanent placement. Such incredible testimony of the LORD's faithfulness. Regardless of the schemes of the enemy or the plans of men, if we place our hope in Christ and obey then He WILL make a way for us! Thank you for all of the prayers this month which carried both me and my team, and brought change for these precious ones.

Our Team is Expanding!

Baby Safe has added three new dynamic members. We have been joined by Rachel Byrnes, a YWAMer from Scotland, as well as 2010 American CPx members Meehan Shannon and Julie Ostrand; and with them have come exciting new opportunities. Their presence will not only allow us to distribute and carry the workload more easily, but also expand our vision and move in to more territory. We are praying into Rachel and Meehan taking on the Termination of Pregnancy counseling at two other hospitals, allowing us to reach out to more women. Julie has a vision to develop a year-long discipleship, micro-business and job-skills training program for the women in the communities who show growth and commitment, in order to empower them to proactively change their lives and provide for themselves. We cannot wait to see all God has in store!

Seasons

My first full year in South Africa is drawing to a close and the countdown has begun for my holiday in the States! I cannot believe how fast the time has gone (although my family may beg to differ) and how much has taken place. But even as this year draws to a close, new and exciting things are taking shape as God leads me into the next season. I recently moved in to a beautiful new flat with my new flatmate Nicole Lalli, and I could not be more blessed in either circumstance. Though we are living with almost no furniture, the space is wonderful and the LORD keeps providing for all our greatest needs as they arise. We are three doors down from two of our "besties" Christianne and Alison, and Nicole and I gel like pb&j ;)

On December 6th I will be in Tulsa for 6 weeks to see family and friends, and do some support raising as I prepare for next year. It is my intent to return to South Africa on a 3 year visa to continue working with Baby Safe and All Nations. I cannot wait to see everyone, to share my heart and experiences, and to hear all the stories from home! Please join with me in prayer that the LORD would provide for each of my needs, and that my time would be blessed and filled with peace and rest as I head in to this next season. It is a blessing and a privilege to share it with you all!

Equipped

2010-09-26T09:19:00.000-07:00

"Thus David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone, and he struck the Philistine and killed him; but there was no sword in David's hand." -1 Samuel 17:50

Sometimes I look down at my hands and see only the absence of a sword; I see only how I am NOT equipped by the standards of the world. But God is always faithful to remind me of the stones in my pouch, and suddenly I am surprised to see the Philistine already conquered in the dust at my feet. For the battle is the LORDs and He has already won; it is HE who equips us for the fight, and it is in order to bring Him glory.

These months have been crazy and exhausting, especially as our team is holding down the fort while Bethany is in the States. This past week alone was unlike anything I've ever experienced. We had calls concerning two abandoned babies, a prostitute trying to poison her entire family, and a drug addict who gave birth; I had as well two crisis intervention meetings involving a client, ten women at abortion counseling, and an hour spent with another young client discussing an emergency removal and placement with a safety family for her. And that was just by Wednesday!

Sometimes in these situations all I feel is my inadequacies. I see only the absence of a sword-I'm not a social worker, I don't have a degree or official "training" outside of what I've experienced here. But every time my Father reminds me of the sling and the stone in my hand, a weapon better suited to my strength and experience. He leads me Himself into battle and suddenly the giant which seemed so daunting is no more than food for carrion.

"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." (Phil 4:13) This week may have been overwhelming and exhausting, but I was also overwhelmed by the realization of who God is and who He is making me. Each situation that arose I was able to march into knowing exactly what to do and handle with confidence, whether sorting out a baby's abandonment with a drunk gogo or being able to make a plan of action with the team concerning various emergencies. Two women changed their minds about abortion, and we celebrated the second birthday of little Andisiwe, delivered out of abuse and neglect into a new life. At house church Thursday night as I sat utterly spent, my friends really affirmed me. This past year has thus far been the most challenging and exhausting of my life, learning to live and cope in a new country and culture, a new job and ministry, new relationships, and often handling things alone. But in spite of it all this year has also been the most rewarding.

My teammate Alli shared with me a picture the LORD gave her of how a father will teach a baby to walk. He sets her down on her feet, wobbly as they are, and then walks ahead with arms outstretched but not touching. As the baby takes one hesitant step at a time he continues to move with her, leading on but not touching as she gains strength and confidence. This season it may at times have felt as though I am alone but the LORD has been there the entire time, His arms outstretched and His hands around me to catch me if I stumble, leading and allowing me to walk in order to gain strength and confidence. My friend Alison said how the LORD has chosen and equipped me according to HIS standards, just as He did with David in anointing a shepherd boy to be king. I may feel sometimes I don't have what it takes, but my Father has fashioned and is preparing me for these tasks, and will bring about triumph for HIS glory. "And he struck the Philistine and killed him; but there was no sword in David's hand."

So I look ahead in confidence and hope, as I prepare to enter the next stages of this season, expectant of what the LORD is going to do. For it is He who calls and also equips. It is He who strengthens my hands for battle and He who gives me peace. My God is bigger than any giant I face and He has already given me the tools for battle. "He does not delight in the strength of the horse; He does not take pleasure in the legs of a man. The LORD favors those who fear Him, those who wait for His lovingkindness." (Ps 147:10-11) So I will wait on Him!

Ransomed

2010-08-22T07:51:00.000-07:00

"For this child I prayed, and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of Him."

From my very first month working with Baby Safe in January, I was made aware of Andisiway and her situation. At 18 months old she was was underweight, still being breastfed by an alcoholic mother, and there had been reported violence and abuse from the father. Bethany had been communicating with the social workers in Masiphumelele and advocating for her removal and placement with a safety family. From those very first meetings we began to pray and intercede on her behalf, that the LORD would give us favor and deliver her. It was to become a long and drawn out struggle.

A removal was soon planned by the social workers and Baby Safe was on standby, ready to fetch her as soon as she was safely away. But instead of the expected summons, we were contacted with the news that the mother had taken off with Andisiway and was nowhere to be found. So instead of fetching the little girl, Alli and I drove in to Masi in order to get information and details and discuss future plans. What we found caused no end of frustration and discouragement. Reading over Andisiwe's file we encountered records of abuse and neglect, followed by subsequent warnings, second chances, and no change from her first month of life up until now! The mother had 4 other children as well, all of whom had been removed previously and placed with other family members. How could a cycle like this be allowed to continue?

And so we continued to pray, and to advocate and plan with the social workers again and again for removal. The mother eventually returned, but instead was monitored and given a warning. The cycle of alcoholism and neglect continued however so removals were again planned, only to be met by violent resistance or disappearance. Months passed, each one marked with another attempt and failure, each one filled with prayers for future success and favor.

In July Bethany left for an extended holiday and time of fundraising in the States. As our safety family coordinator I was also entrusted the task of continuing this case with the social workers. Almost immediately we were able to meet and a plan was once again underway. This time they planned to enlist the police, a day and time were set, I arranged a safety family, and we prayed in desperate hope. The day came… and nothing happened. The time came and went, no one contacted me, and none of my calls would go through. I was so disheartened, frustrated and discouraged. How could the LORD allow this to continue? As I went on with the day's work I didn't even feel like praying. What was the use? Was God even listening?

Then at 3 that afternoon (5 hours after the appointed time) I received the call saying, "She's here, come and get her!" I was thrilled beyond belief. Quickly notifying my on-call prayer team via sms and calling our safety mother, I jumped into my car and flew into Masi… only to encounter even more mess! Andisiwe was NOT there, they had allowed her mother to take her to the clinic as a ruse and no one was supervising her, and the police had not even been contacted yet! I sat in that office praying desperately as police were called, instructions given, and plans made. I did not want to come this close, only for it to fall through again!

Events continued to unfold with complete disorganization. Three cars of police showed up when only one was needed and the mother had already taken off for home, so they took off after her. I had stipulated for both my protection and Andisiwe's that her mother not see me, but within minutes a group of police, social workers, and one very drunk and angry mother were ushered into the tiny room where I waited. So there I was, little white girl trapped in the back of the room, come to take this woman's baby who was crying in the social workers arms, with everyone around me yelling in Xhosa. Uncomfortable, to say the least. But they quickly sorted the situation and the mother was escorted out and detained by police until I could leave Masi with Andisiwe.

Once her mother was gone the little girl calmed down tremendously, allowing me to make a preliminary exam before taking off. She was filthy, in a rotting nappy which had been filled at least twice, and at 2 was stick thin and no bigger than a 1 year old. But when we were ready to leave her little face lit up with a beautiful smile as she lifted her tiny arms to wrap around me. As we left Masi I wanted weep with joy. After nearly a year of prayer, effort, and consistent failure and discouragement, the LORD had answered our prayers! The first step in Andisiwe's deliverance had finally been achieved.

In only two weeks Andisiwe is like a completely different child. Full of life, joy, and exuberance she brings no end of delight to her foster family. She is gaining weight and strength by the day, has experienced no withdrawal though she was still receiving breast milk influenced by alcohol upon her removal, and is tackling developmental toys with enthusiasm and a sharp intelligence. It brings great hope and encouragement to us as we now face the next stages of her case.

The enemy in no means goes down without a fight. When you tamper with his plans for a life he will come against you with every weapon in his arsenal. Shortly after Andisiwe's removal I was incapacitated with illness for a week. Upon returning to work I found the social workers were trying to arrange parental visits counter to what had been stipulated by our safety family, and working toward reunification instead of a permanent, safe placement as had previously been planned.

We know that none of this will come easily, but our God is the God of miracles! He has come through thus far, and we believe that despite any difficulties and setbacks, He will continue to do so. And when we look at little Andisiwe and others like her, it is worth every moment of the fight. So please join us in prayer, as we storm the kingdom of darkness and ransom back these lives the enemy would take for his own! Jesus has a destiny for Andisiwe, and we believe we WILL see it come about, exactly as He has planned.

Perfect in Weakness

2010-07-19T02:55:00.000-07:00

I stood over the hospital bed in the room behind the ER, sopping up blood as it streamed in ridiculous profusion from the crying baby's finger. We had been deposited in this room with no explanation, other than the child was very sick, and without further ado an iv was inserted into his tiny hand and we were removed to the waiting ward and told he was being admitted and I would have to stay. A nurse came and pricked his finger, leaving it without bandage and me to clean it up with whatever I had on hand and no explanations. This is not how I expected my weekend to pan out…

Barely 24 hours before, Bethany delivered this tiny bundle to me for weekend supervision. Little Abundance was the child of a Baby Safe client, who was sick and unable to cope. The 7 week baby was running a fever with thrush and diarrhea, so we took him into custody in order to give him focused care and his mama a chance to recover. He was tiny, having only gained one kg since birth; he had a talisman around his waist and a nasty egg solution in his hair from the cultic ritual used by the popular local Zionist "church" for protection. Together Bethany and I prayed protection, healing and favor over him and myself while binding the power and bondage of the enemy as we flushed the talisman. When she left I bathed him in the sink before enfolding him in a clean blanket and in my arms, where he stayed the majority of the weekend.

I think both the greatest challenge and the greatest privilege in this line of work lies in taking on the role of a temporary mother. I am never more tired, taxed, or more satisfied than when I take one of these little ones into my home. It proved no different with Abundance. The child of an ill and struggling mother, I new he didn't receive much personal touch and care, so when I wasn't attending to necessary tasks he was cradled in my arms. Restless with fever, he was most calm when sleeping on my chest, so most of the night was spent with his little face pressed against my heart. My waking, and even sleeping thoughts, were directed in prayer for his life and health. I spent Saturday in my pjs - praying, cuddling, listening to worship music, and visiting with my little companion.

But everything changed that afternoon. We knew the baby had a temperature and wanted to monitor it, so Alli purchased and brought me a thermometer late in the day. However, things were suddenly thrown into an entirely new light when the reading showed Abundance's fever had reached 39.6˚C (103.3˚F)! Without further ado, I packed him into my car and rushed to the nearest hospital. Thus began an entirely new aspect of my weekend.

Government hospitals are an experience unlike anything else and my first full-on encounter was no fun. By the grace of God we saw a doctor quickly, but I confess it felt like the grace ended there. Upon seeing Abundance he asked why the baby hadn't been brought sooner, then proceeded to hook up the iv, before having me carry the screaming baby into a back room where we were left and told we were admitted and would have to stay indefinitely. So there I was - no food, no bottle or extra baby things, no basic necessities, no information, blood everywhere, battery almost dead in my phone, and at my wits end! It's a humbling state to be in.

At that point Alli arrived. Having had more extensive experience (both in Africa and their hospitals :-) she was able to help me gain perspective and information, as well as give encouragement. Together we got things sorted out, and she stayed with Abundance while I went home to fetch all the necessary things for our stay. I returned to find them settled in the children's ward for the night, where I exchanged places with Alli and began my vigil.

Motherhood is not simple or romantic. I think it is one of the most difficult jobs there is. It is also one of the most rewarding. The ward was freezing - painfully so. I was given a hard chair by the baby's bed for the night, given the medication and informed when I was to administer it myself, instructed to wake up at 6am to tidy and arrange my space, and then to bathe the baby using my own products (the only ones I had not thought to bring) at 7am. By 11pm Abundance was restless and would not stop crying, and I was emotional and feeling nauseas with exhaustion.

We must have presented quite the picture; the single white American girl with the Zimbabwean baby, in a ward with Xhosa women and their children and colored nurses speaking Afrikaans, no clue what was going on or what to do next. Not surprisingly, my sense of humor wasn't kicking in at that point. To be perfectly frank, I was ready to be done. I was freaked out, angry at the whole situation, and irrationally impatient wishing the baby would just go to sleep! Holding Abundance and swaying back and forth, choking back my weeping, all I could manage to pray was, "God help… God help… God help…"

And He did.

Rocking my tiny charge, I remembered he rested much better skin to skin. Settling myself in the chair and holding him against my chest, my tee-shirt barely allowed room for his face below my neck, but it was enough. Within 10 minutes he was asleep, within 20 his restlessness stilled, and he slept without waking the remainder of the night. Peace stole over my own mind and heart. In that miserable chair and freezing room I managed to sleep myself. The following morning as I helped the nurses with their ministrations and proceeded to feed and care Abundance I was filled with the most extraordinary love and satisfaction. At 8 his mama arrived to take my place and remain with him at the hospital. Surrendering her baby, hugging, encouraging, and praying with her, I knew I would have stayed in a heartbeat.

You never know when you will encounter Jesus. But I can always count on Him when I am at my lowest point; when I am at my weakest, frailest, most selfish and human. 'And He has said to me, "My power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefor, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.' (2 Cor 12:9) Because in our weakest state, there is no other explanation but the power of His presence. And because of this I can be certain that whenever I lay hands on these little ones, they are touched by the very presence of God, through His presence and faithfulness to me.

Moments

2010-06-06T08:39:00.000-07:00

I think our live are defined more by the day-to-day moments than the big events that take place. In the end it seems like it's the small triumphs that make the biggest difference, the ones that add up to change. And they're the ones that stick with me at the end of the day. Moments like these.

Every Wednesday I meet with 16-year-old Nichole. She has struggled so much since giving up her baby, battling depression and confusion and having difficulty in her relationships with her family now. So each week I listen and counsel over coffee, we study the Bible and pray together, and God is bringing about a sweet friendship. Despite the difficulties He is really working in her life, and she has a true sensitivity to His word and Spirit. Recently in discussing the supernatural and cultural superstition, she confided how on her own initiative she removed the family talisman from around her waist and said, "God, I put my trust in YOU!" And on one of her darkest nights, she felt a pair of arms lift and hold her until morning. I told her, "Girl, that was your Daddy-God!!" 

Each time Bethany, Alli or I intervene with a baby something happens-sickness, vandalism, you name it. Only days after taking a baby in forthenight and situating him with a safety family, two of my tires got slashed. I was parked in my "safe" neighborhood and someone inexplicably took a knife to them, though nothing else was touched. No attempted break-in or other vandalism, just irreparably damaged tires that had to be replaced, something factored neither into my budget nor my schedule. But God sent me favor and guardian angels along the way. Floyd changed one tire for me, my friend Christianne gave me her car the following day to replace it and run my errands, my friend Nick came home to change the next tire for me, and when he found it was impossible to remove due to being rusted on, two colored workmen in the neighborhood came and using their own tools assisted us in changing it. Returning to the tire shop, my friend and fellow All Nations member Cedric showed up for vehicle repairs and was able to offer me encouragement. He gave me a hug and said "You know you're doing something right girl or Satan would just leave you alone. You're damaging his kingdom!" Amen. 

Thursdays are another challenge entirely. Do you know what it's like to try to communicate with someone and teach them english when neither of you speaks the other's language? Yet that's how I spend about two hours every week with my friend Khayakazi in Masi, who is only xhosa speaking. We meet over coffee or in the library and attempt to visit, learn basic english phrases, and I try to learn xhosa. By the time we finish I'm always mentally and emotionally exhausted but it is worth it. My attempts at xhosa create no end of laughter and delight to her and I confess it helps not to be seen always as the pulled-together white woman, and I am learning! Khayakazi and her siblings are one of our Vulnerable Children families, and God has been doing amazing things for them. A sponsor recently donated an amount to provide rent for a year, allowing them to move from their rotting shack, and after months of promoting her resume' Khayakazi recently got a job! 

Last weekend I went to visit Gina, one of the young women who had changed her mind about abortion. She had been waiting weeks for an opportunity to have me over and show me her new home. It is the most humbling thing to receive that kind of hospitality; welcoming me into her tiny room without shame, she sat me on her bed, made me tea with way too much sugar, and peanut butter and margarine sandwiches on her remaining slices of bread. We laughed and cried together, she shared her heart, fears, and hopes, and we read the Word and prayed. The following day when I fell sick, Gina went and bought air time just so she could call and see how I was, then continued to sms and pray for me throughout the week. "…But she, out of her poverty, put in everything-all she had to live on." (Mark 12:44b) Jesus is doing beautiful things in her heart and life, and I cannot wait to see what He has in store for her and this new baby. 

In reading John again in The Message, I came across this verse I’d marked with the date 20/06/2008. ‘Jesus said, “I’m not crazy. I simply honor my Father, while you dishonor me. I am not trying to get anything for myself. God intends something gloriously grand here and is making the decisions that will bring it about. I say this with absolute confidence.” ‘ (8:49-51a) Visiting later with Christianne, I was reminiscing about this time two years ago, when the LORD was moving on my heart and I would soon take the steps to apply and move to South Africa. I shared how I’d sat across from Mum and stated, “I would rather quit my job and live by faith on the mission field, but I feel like that would be taking the “easy choice”!” We laughed together over how ludicrous that sounds, yet amazingly enough it’s proved true! Just this month I was dealing with surprise expenses (like new tires) and budgeting not knowing where money was going to come from, only to receive the month’s statement from my church in Tulsa for the exact amount needed! Amazing. This is our life. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

A Week in the Life...

2010-05-09T04:00:00.000-07:00

I tend to take my days in stride, taking on both the expected and unexpected as they come. It's amazing what quickly becomes "normal". I continue to learn and grow, becoming daily more accustomed to the work and ministry here as well as the subtle-and not so subtle-differences involved with living in Africa. However, it's come to my attention that regardless of my family and friends' general understanding of my work and ministry, and my (hopefully) consistent emails and updates, very few really know what's involved. I was recently brought up short when a couple friends and acquaintances asked what a typical day looks like for me here. After I finished laughing my head off, the thought struck me that it might be fun to share a day-to-day look at what a "typical" week is like for me. Because basically, anything can happen! So here's a look at recent one...

Monday-26/04/2010

Pretty standard. Did some admin at home and picked up 2 car seats Baby Safe purchased. PRAISE GOD! We've been sharing 1 between the three of us as need arises and it's become ridiculous. Today Bethany and I had our regular Baby Safe meeting over lunch at a favorite spot, The Farm in Noordhoek. By some miracle I'd completed most of the tasks I've been working on and B had few to add, which means I'll have lot's of leeway for anything that comes up! And things do come up…

I am the Baby Safe safety family coordinator, so after lunch I ran to our office at King of Kings Baptist Church (praying for an office of our own soon!) to use the phone line in order to make reference calls. We have a new family willing to take the potential long-term placements with children who come our way that may need longer care. I had no idea how soon this might be necessary though!

Tuesday-27/04/2010

Today is a public holiday-no one here knows what for! For me a day off means I can get stuff done. But most exciting, today I meet one of my TOP clients from last week who changed her mind and is keeping her baby! So I picked her up and took her to the prayer room at Africa House-because of course EVERYTHING else is closed-to listen to her story, assess her needs, and explain how we can help. Moments like this make everything else worth it! I helped her make a resume to find a job, explained our mentoring program and that we'll be matching her up with someone, encouraged her, prayed with her, and shared the love and hope that is Christ.

That night there was a massive braai at our friend's the DeHaans, with all the longtermers and the CPx teams who are doing Outreach Phase in Cape Town. In these gatherings we both share inspiring stories concerning ministry, or try to talk about anything but! ;) There's no end to food and laughter though. I must say a braai is one of my favorite South African traditions and we indulge often.

Wednesday-28/04/2010

This is always my crazy and draining day, but I love it. Wednesday morning is TOP counseling at the Hospital, but this day is unlike any other! I had 2 girls too far along, one in crisis mode and the other comes in and says, "I want you to help me place my baby for adoption." Then, I have one tender young woman change her mind when I sense her uncertainty and explain how Baby Safe can help. The rest are on the fence and I go in to full-on ministry mode exploring every feeling, circumstance, and option. Throughout all of this, the Baby Safe phone keeps going off (I'm on call this week) concerning an abandoned baby and I'm taking information and calling Bethany in between clients.

That afternoon is my regular meeting with Nichole, a young girl who placed her baby for adoption and who I am now pursuing a mentoring relationship with. It is always the sweetest time, her heart is so tender toward the LORD. We have coffee and cookies, talk about her thoughts and feelings, read the Bible, and pray together. In a situation where so many women and girls struggle to cope, Nichole simply asks Jesus for understanding, and thanks Him for the joy that He has given her. Amazing!

During this time, B called to see if I will take the abandoned baby for the night before we take her to a safety family in the morning, so after I drop Nichole off she brought Abigail over. The poor baby was filthy, fussy, had a cold, a fever, and the runs. Everything I've ever learned in caring for children was put into practice that night and then some. When I bathed her I discovered a talisman bound around her waist, which got flushed and thoroughly rebuked! By the end of the evening I was covered in poop, pee, formula and vomit, baby wash, and my own dinner (trying to juggle). But I got her bathed, fed, medicated and sleeping, while managing my own shower, all this time praying over her in the Spirit, praying scripture, and interceding for her life and destiny.

Thursday-29/04/2010

Discovering new levels of utter and complete exhaustion. Abigail literally woke up once every hour, sometimes twice, coughing and crying and needing nose-wiping, meds, formula or fluids. I never made it past a semi-comatose state and when I dreamed I dreamed about Abigail. But she got COVERED in prayers. I never knew it was possible to pray in the Spirit while sleeping but I did! As soon as we were both ready for the day I took her to the safety family I'd recently followed up on and gave instructions to have her taken to the clinic.

The afternoon was both a disappointment and a relief. Thursday and Friday are my Vulnerable Children days, and Thursday I meet with one of my girls to teach english. However, after driving into Masiphumelele, making phone calls and waiting for an hour, I had three no-shows. TIA!! However, at that point I felt sick from exhaustion, so took it as God's favor and went home. My house church group were apparently all in the same state because that got cancelled as well and I went to be at 8:30.

Friday-30/14/2010

Today is the regular bi-monthly Vulnerable Children meeting with all of us who volunteer in our "free time" to make up the team. Today's subjects are many and varied, and as I am the administrator I have to take careful notes in order to organize information and tasks and email everyone later. Two key subjects of interest today are as different as they are important. One is the possibility of changing our structure and support system with the ministry and seeking to double our sponsors. The other is that there have been several rapes and sudden deaths in Masi recently, so don't go into the Wetlands alone!

That afternoon I have another cancelation. My friend Thandi and I are doing a Discovery Bible Study with a family in Masi, but today she is sick. As the family is predominantly Xhosa speaking and Thandi is my translator, I shoot them an sms to reschedule, pray they get it, and go home to get a jump start on the VC admin. This consumes my time until I go back in to Masi at 4 for Kids Club. Every Friday we gather all of our Vulnerable Children for an hour of songs, games, a Bible lesson, and prayer. It is organized chaos but the kids love it! We teach them our songs and they teach us theirs, now they've learned to sit quietly for the story and answer questions about it, afterwords they offer their prayers to the LORD themselves.

The Weekend!!

Great is Thy faithfulness! Because of our crazy schedule and workload Baby Safe allows us to take both days off instead of only one, and Vulnerable Children accommodates this. If they didn't I think I would swim home at this point. These are my days to sleep in, do laundry, get groceries and run errands, and have fun! This usually involves braais and dinner with friends, movie nights, excursions around and outside of Cape Town, or cloistering myself in my flat for some R&R. Sundays my friend Alison comes over in the afternoon for coffee and tea, rusks, and accountability, prayer and visiting together. It's usually just enough rest for me to prepare and start the week all over again!

The Measure of Success

2010-04-11T04:35:00.000-07:00

"It is not important to succeed but to do right; the rest is up to God" -C.S. Lewis

Nine different faces. Different colors, languages, ages, backgrounds. Nine different stories, with only one thing in common. Each of these women, regardless of age, race, and circumstances, were seeking a quick solution for a situation they could not face. Because there were eighteen heartbeats involved, nine of which were intent on ending another one.

This is the situation I face now every Wednesday morning, when Bethany and I do the Termination of Pregnancy counseling at False Bay Hospital. But any preconceived notions I had before taking this on have flown out the window completely as the LORD has brought about a complete paradigm shift-I'm not there simply for the heartbeat that might end, I'm there for the one that keeps beating and is breaking. Every week these women come, most of them from difficult circumstances hardly able to take care of themselves, much less a child. Many are afraid or in denial, most are weeping, confessing they know each child is a gift from God but they have no way to care for it.

And this is the message God has given us for them, two truths that we share. The first is we know that God creates all life, He has a plan already and a story written out for this child, and when you take that away it does hurt His heart. But the other is this, there is nothing we can do that will make God love us less. He sent His only Son Jesus Christ to take our punishment; He has forgiven all our past and future sins, and there is nothing that will prevent our coming to Him.

So how do you determine success? Last week I had a woman change her mind, now looking for full time work to support herself and continuing with the pregnancy. This week I held an little eighteen-year-old punk as she cried-broken hearted over her actions and situation, professing a belief in an unconventional god she finds in flowers and art-and I told her of the love and forgiveness of my God and His heart for her. The next day she went through with the abortion. But a seed was planted of hope, healing, forgiveness and love that she might otherwise never have encountered. Both are success in my mind.

God doesn't ask us to "accomplish" something but to be faithful in what He has given us to do. He has given us a seed to plant and HE causes the growth. Both these mothers and their babies are God's children and He cares for them equally. It's not easy to sit and fight for two lives, knowing most won't change their minds and will continue in the same patterns. But it is a privilege to be in that position, to offer hope where most find none and share the love and gospel of Christ. So we continue to obey and believe that the God we serve is big enough to redeem every situation. To Him be the glory!

Faithful

2010-03-28T08:19:00.000-07:00

"I have made you for this. You were shaped for this work and I have placed you here. My favor is with you, and I will provide for and take care of you. You are in My will and I will make a way." The LORD has whispered these things to my heart and daily confirms them. In everything I feel both His blessing and stretching, as every experience is a learning experience causing me to grow. Africa is making a self-sufficient woman out of me! But in all things He continues to care for my heart as well, through His provision and through the community here.

March has been a month both of great challenges and great benefits. So much has taken place it feels like two months instead of one! I was blessed to be able to take a Basic Counseling course through a local organization over three weeks time. It was an enriching experience and I learned so much, especially through the practical application. It proved to be quite the learning curve in more ways than one, as I had to drive over an hour and all over the place to get there! I am now able to navigate throughout Cape Town and surrounding areas quite confidently, even getting lost and finding my way without a map.

In both the Baby Safe and Vulnerable Children ministries I continue to understand and take on more. Every day the LORD gives me new perspective and greater joy in my work, and I have a great love for my teammates and the people we serve. I've been taking over some counseling duties, making job re'sume's and promoting them for women in the communities, visiting families and doing Kid's Club in Masi, driving babies between foster families and parents, and LOADS of admin. Thank God for weekends!

One area of tremendous blessing and excitement is that I have purchased a car!! A friend in Pretoria found a beautiful 2005 Toyota Tazz, negotiated the purchase for me, and then drove it down to Cape Town himself and delivered it. It's perfect! Now the fun begins as I learn how to drive it-I've never driven stick before in my life. It's been an experience in itself, like being 16 all over again only this time you're more aware of how undignified you really are-driving round-and-round the parking lot. But I seem to be getting the knack pretty quickly! My friend Alison is teaching me and we have graduated to roads and hills in the neighborhood.

Another area of great blessing and provision is Tersia's and my living situation. We moved once more, but this time we are settled more permanently, staying until after she gets married in September. Floyd and Sally, our All Nations directors, very graciously opened their guest flat for us to rent until that time. We are now staying in Kommetjie (sounds like comb-a-key), one of the most beautiful areas around. From my windows I can see both the sea and the mountains, and am able to hear and smell the salty waves. Even more fun, three of my best girl friends in SA live in a flat within walking distance, and we are constantly taking advantage of the fact.

I think above all else though, the relationships have been the greatest blessing of all. The LORD has been deepening the ones previously formed, and providing wonderful new ones. Every week is filled with times of encouragement and fun-through our house church gatherings, movie nights, braais, and more! I walk away from every gathering feeling encouraged, challenged, and uplifted. I've usually laughed myself silly at some point in the exchange as well, no matter how serious our purpose. God is good! Every day has both it's ups and downs but I rest in the peace of knowing I am where He wants me. He has made me for this, and I would not choose anything else.

Vulnerable

2010-02-27T04:39:00.001-08:00

It is amazing to me the things which so quickly become common. To see poverty and suffering accepted so naturally, simply a way of life. I've been walking through Masi, my friends and I wandering the streets, weaving in and out through the various roads and back streets of the different divisions. The dirt paths are littered with broken glass more common than pebbles, garbage everywhere, over which the children run barefoot. The drainage ditches are clogged with every imaginable object and reek of sewage. Homes range everywhere from ramshackle tin shanties with no amenities, to comfortable little houses with electricity, water, and fenced yards. But our wanderings took us down the back roads and into the marshy wetlands to hunt for the forgotten. The vulnerable.

Vulnerable Children, a ministry of All Nations begun in 2008 by a CPx student, seeks to address the needs of children either without parents or with parents who are ill and unable to support their families. Due to a shortage of help, part of my work this year will be dedicated to this ministry. VC matches sponsors with families to provide a monthly food package and school uniforms, while the volunteers pursue mentoring relationships with the children and their families. And it was for these families my friends and I were searching.

One by one we found them, some with up to eight people sharing a one room shack barley 10 feet square and a single bed. One family of five was headed by their 23-year-old sister. Simply finding the house was treacherous, threading through narrow alleys and walking across broken boards and tiles. Their home was built on a rotting platform over the marshes, a tiny room with two filthy mattresses and a small cupboard. Their sister couldn't speak enough english to understand us and didn't have a job. Later we sat with two sisters, one with HIV and the other a rape victim. My heart broke as we prayed and wept with them together. The presence of the LORD came and wrapped itself around us, and He gave me the verse in Isaiah 61:1, "He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners." I told them how Jesus wanted to heal their hearts and set them free.

This is why we're here. Jesus said, "I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly." (John 10:10b) Sometimes it seems overwhelming, hopeless, impossible. And then you sit with the least of these and one day you see a light come in their eyes, and hope where there was none. We cannot change anything but there is One who can, and so we follow Him where no one else will go to share His love with His children, and watch Him change their lives.

A Full Heart

2010-02-07T04:25:00.000-08:00

We have left the mattresses from hell behind us and haven't looked back! Last week Tersia and I moved into the home of our friends Simon and Marieke for a month as they visit their family in the Netherlands. We are sleeping on real mattresses, drinking real coffee, and reveling in the space! It is a beautiful home and so peaceful, every morning as I have my coffee and rusks, I sit on my bed looking out over a breathtaking view of mountains and sea. The LORD looks after His children, and He is taking care of our hearts as well as our needs.

This weekend the new CPx students are arriving. I can't believe a year has gone by already! Never would I have guessed at that time what the LORD had in store for me now. My "orientation" with Baby Safe started out with a bang, it seemed I was going to experience everything at once! I was exhausted-mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually-and I've never been happier in my life. So often we are under this bizarre misconception that if we surrender to God's call it will be all struggle and difficulty. But our Father's desire is for us to live out of our hearts, for our glory is His!

On Wednesdays I accompany Bethany to TOP (Termination of Pregnancy) counseling at the hospital, and soon will take on counseling half the women myself. I am getting into a rhythm of administration and meetings, and will be taking on the Baby Safe finances. This past week we visited another children's home run by an Afrikaans couple who wanted to install their own baby safe. After hearing their hearts and seeing their work, Bethany informed them they would not only receive a safe, but a sponsor had donated enough to pay for it. Our own hearts were full to see their joy as they broke down and wept, so much that we wept with them.

My first Baby Safe meeting there was a baby abandoned in Masiphumelele, so Allison picked him up and brought him with us until he could be taken to a foster family. For two hours I held this beautiful baby, feeding him and holding him as he slept, praying in the spirit over his person and future. The following day, his mother returned for him! After reuniting her with her son, we sat and listened to her story and encouraged her in the LORD. What a blessings to see a happy ending come where there is often only heartbreak. Another exciting experience was a Baby Safe first, even for Bethany. A young mother with a month-old baby came to us in order to place him for adoption. A mother has NEVER asked to place a baby post-birth, and no pregnant women have gone through with an adoption after. We were able to take her to the baby house and sit with the social worker as they visited about the circumstances and heart issues. Both of us learned a tremendous amount.

Thank you for your prayers! Please lift up my team members Alli and Bethany as well as myself, the enemy has really been coming against us. These past weeks as we have been fasting and praying, we have all been troubled with nervous sleep, nightmares, even pain. I know it is a direct assault because of the damage we are doing to his kingdom, and he shall not prevail! With this lifestyle there is great struggle, but the rewards far surpass it. I am thankful every day that Jesus called me here, to this work and these people. He is filling my heart and my life. To Him be the glory!

Home

2010-01-23T01:16:00.000-08:00

Back in South Africa! Already it feels like home. It‘s funny the things which quickly become “normal”, like a baboon trying to crawl through my window the first morning here, or a band of homeless men live within sight-and earshot-by the side of the road who can be heard conversing quite boisterously at all hours of the day and evening. Home currently consists of a single room about 4 by 5 meters in which fits two beds, a large cupboard, a mini fridge and microwave, and a small table and chairs. Good to be back!

One huge blessing is my roomy. Tersia and I lived all of CPx together last year and she became a sister and dear friend, so when we both made the decision to commit to All Nations it seemed only natural to continue the journey together. We picked up where we left off as though no time had passed- laughing, crying, swearing and praying together, sharing and pouring into each other’s hearts.

I am terribly excited to be here! Already the LORD has been so faithful, in confirming this move and providing for my needs. This week was At Home Week with All Nations, taking the mornings to worship, pray, and catch up on what is taking place in everyone’s lives and ministries. I have been connecting with Bethany and Allison as well-my Baby Safe “boss” and fellow team member- hearing what has transpired and the work about to begin. My heart is so stirred by what is taking place! This is intense battleground and we are at war with the enemy every day, but the fruit is incredible. I cannot wait to see what the LORD has in store. Please keep us in your prayers as we start up this new year.

I hope to have more information soon concerning my work with Baby Safe, and a sister ministry called Vulnerable Children (more on that later). My orientation begins in earnest next week. In the mean time, it would be a blessing if you could lift these items up in prayer. I am about to begin the hunt for a car. Pray for favor in the overall process, in finding the right vehicle, and the funds. Also, Tersia and I do not have a permanent place of residence. We are renting from All Nations until next month when CPx begins, house-sitting for friends through February, and after that we do not know! Please pray for direction and favor in finding a safe, inexpensive, and hopefully permanent place to share. Praying and believing! Matthew6:25-33

Calling Me Back

2009-11-02T08:06:00.000-08:00

It's autumn in the states. The foliage is turning brilliant shades of every color, the weather is crisp and chilly; visits to the pumpkin farm, pumpkin carving, pumpkin lattes-pumpkin Pumpkin PUMPKIN! It's my favorite time of year and I'm enjoying every minute. And yet...
I'm dreaming of a place where summer is right around the corner-my LEAST favorite season. Where many of my friends will spend Christmas braai-ing on the beach in their bathing suits. A place filled with breathtaking beauty and heartbreaking poverty. God is calling me home to South Africa.

When I set off earlier this year I had no clear vision or purpose, I only knew I had been called and so followed. In my six months in Africa learning and serving, God taught me so much about His love and character, and my own heart. This January I am returning for a years commitment to All Nations, to work with their ministry Baby Safe.

From the time I was old enough to comprehend God has place in me the desire to be a mother. Through years working with the Crisis Pregnancy Outreach He has given me a heart for broken women and children. He has "anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted...to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners" (Is 61:1). And now he has opened the door to live this out. Baby Safe was founded to prevent the infanticide through baby dumping taking place in South Africa. They provide counseling, infant care training and donations for new moms, adoption opportunities, and more; including the baby safe-an anonymous and legal drop box where a woman can safely leave her baby instead of "dumping".

I am excited by this opportunity to learn and to serve, exploring and growing in the gifts and desires God has given me. I will be working as an intern under Bethany O'Connor, the young woman who is pioneering the ministry. God has also brought two other beautiful young women to partner with us, Lelanie Steyn and Allison Scarlett, creating the first full time Baby Safe team. Through my time in Africa I am blessed to already call these women my friends. He is so faithful! As we set out to love and serve in the familiar and unfamiliar alike, your prayers and support mean more than I can say. Thank you for walking with me on this journey and partnering in the LORD's work! I cannot wait to see all He has in store.

Le Me Be Honest

2009-08-08T12:09:00.000-07:00

The last six months were the most difficult and the most wonderful of my life. But it seems when God calls the two go hand in hand. They neglected to mention in the CPx information that they intend to kill you-go figure. I've been strapped down to that altar mentally, emotionally, spiritually-learning daily to die to myself and allow God to remove anything and everything He sees fit. The process at times feels excruciating. The phrase "a sacrifice of praise" took on a whole new meaning-it isn't giving up a few hours to sing worship songs with passion and joy. It's taking up our cross daily to follow Him wherever He leads, whether that's sharing the gospel with those who have never heard it or loving obnoxious people.

Difficult? Absolutely! But the reward is infinitely worth it. God doesn't leave you empty and bleeding on that altar. With each thing He removed He gave me more of Himself. Through every insecurity dealt with He taught me more of my worth. I have encountered the love of the Father in ways I have never experienced before. I have heard His voice more clearly, I have felt His touch more deeply, I have known His love mere intimately. I have encountered the Lover of my soul, and He is worthy.

Let me be honest. These past six months I achieved nothing. But God did. The more I came to realize my weakness the more I saw His power. I personally did not lead anyone to the Lord, but I saw life restored through His Gospel of truth, light brought to the darkness and bondage of fear and false teaching. I did not heal any sick, but I saw the brokenhearted comforted and given new hope. I saw reconciliation, restoration, and provision with no explanation other than the hand of God. He has used the foolish and broken of this world to shine His light all the clearer. He used this weak and simple vessel to witness the power and glory of His love, so that there is no denying it is Him and Him alone.

I set off to love the lost of this world only to encounter the love of the Father for me. I sought to see others the way He sees them, and He showed me a vision of myself. And it was in the dust at Jesus' feet, a fallen woman who had prostituted myself after the desires of the world, chasing after other "lovers", unworthy and unclean. But He called me beautiful and He called me His. He raised me up and He made me His bride, pure and holy, worthy of love. And THIS is the love He asks me to share. And so I will follow.

When you have felt the finger of God who would choose anything else? It is hard to go; we fear that in giving up our dreams and plans the sacrifice will be too much and the plans HE has too difficult. But it's true, His plans for you and the desires HE gives-and fulfills!-are so much greater. I let go of all the things I thought I wanted and He gave me so much more. An adventure of breathtaking beauty, freedom, joy, and fulfillment. Your lover is calling you, will you follow?

Leaving Zimbabwe

2009-07-03T08:12:00.000-07:00

"Seems that I'll never get through 'preparing' for the mission field. But I've been comforted this week thinking of our Lord's thirty silent years of readying Himself at home with His family and bending over a carpenter's bench. Were those days any less of a fragrance to God that His later work before the eyes of the people? I think not. A well-made piece of furniture and a healed blind man represent the same thing to the Father-a job well done; mission accomplished. So with us here. Nothing great, but what is that to Him with whom there is no great or small?" -Jim Elliot

I read this passage only this morning; it seemed so fitting as today is our last day in Zimbabwe. Looking back, it is incredible to see the work God has done, both in us personally and in the community here. Some things great, some seemingly insignificant, yet all belong to God and it is He who will see the work through. What an honor to be His vessels and witnesses here for this short season.

This week has passed in a flurry of goodbyes, packing, and preparations. The time has been exciting, crazy, and bittersweet as we say farewell to all of our new brothers and sisters here. I think one of the pinnacles of our experience was last Saturday when we held baptisms for all those who had committed their lives to Christ. We drove four car loads of our friends out to a river area, where we took turns baptizing and praying over them. It was an incredibly sweet experience for me, being my first time to baptize anyone and seeing the work of God in these people's lives.

Thank you all for your prayers and support these past months, you have played a tremendous role in our work here. God has been incredibly faithful and I know much is due to you. Please continue to pray for us as we prepare for the long drive back; three days through Botswana and South Africa. Also for our last weeks in CPx before returning home, that God will give us peace and clear direction as we look toward the future. He has given us many dreams and visions which I am excited to share with you in the next couple weeks! Our God is faithful.

Relationships

2009-06-22T01:16:00.000-07:00

These past two months in Zimbabwe God has brought about relationships
with a variety of people of diverse characters and circumstances. But
each has climbed into and claimed a special place in my heart, and I
want to ask you to join me in lifting up their hearts and futures in
prayer. Let me introduce you to a few of them.

The first is Victor, an eleven-year-old boy who sought me out when I
visited his school to play net ball. Victor is a special little boy;
there is a light in his eyes and a warmth in his heart that is absent
in too many of the children here, as well as a sharp mind and strong
hope for the future. He walks an hour every day from a neighboring
village to attend school here, and one weekend he ran the entire way
to take me back to his home to meet his family. They live in a tin
shack-well furnished inside-on an immaculately kept plot of land with
gardens both practical and pleasing. Victor's father Mike works
hard in order to pay for and begin building his family a house, brick
by brick. Victor visits me after school whenever he can; we talk
about Jesus and family, always praying together. I believe God has
good things in store for his future.

Another relationship which has been a blessing to me and Tersia is with
a woman named Blessed. She was misdiagnosed for a disease and given
treatment which made it worse, and is now crippled in both her legs
and hands. We began visiting her twice a week in order to help her
with her physical therapy and give encouragement. In just one week
she showed improvement which is increasing! And she has become an
encouragement to us as well, her faith and the peace of Christ shining
out of her eyes.

But perhaps the most encouraging relationships have been the most
challenging. Twice a week I meet with a family of sisters-Florence,
Prisca, Mama Jones, and Ceaser-their niece Tambusai, and occasionally
their friends. Each of these women gave their lives to Christ for the
first time after our first couple weeks here, and they are hungry for
Him and His word. They are all at the house almost every time we
meet, asking challenging questions and giving good insight. Their
faith and faithfulness is wonderful to behold, even in their difficult
circumstances, seeing the ways God is coming through for them in
providing for and speaking to them.

Their love and hospitality is so sweet. They have almost nothing yet
delight to serve us. A while back Tersia and Christine brought them a
supply of food when discovering their need. The following meetings
they fed US from what we had given them, tasty bean dishes and boiled
pumpkin they had prepared. I delight in their company, sitting and
visiting, laughing, reading the Bible and praying. It is a challenge
too, as their stories and lives are full of heartbreak and
difficulty-poverty, abuse, AIDS, cults. Yet still they cling to hope.
Please pray for them, that 'He who began a good work in (them) will
perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus'. (Phil. 1:6) Amen

Journal Entry

2009-06-16T06:33:00.000-07:00

Friday, May 29, 2009

It is so incredible to me to see the shift in my life and focus. Incredible and wonderful. The entire center of passion and existence for myself and the team is the Gospel. We were all sitting together over dinner in the dark-again-and all we spoke of was the 'God story' and the meaning of the Gospel. We were sharing perspectives, asking questions, looking up scriptures and getting excited. We spoke of the consequences of sin being death, the significance of Christ having to die and the meaning of the resurrection, how best to explain sacrifice, and we read the Bible together with real enthusiasm.

This morning I practiced sharing the 'God story' with the team, for the first time with excitement and not nervousness, and received real encouragement from their response. Half of our conversations are concerning ministry, teaching and sharing the Gospel, confronting religion and false doctrine, and how to make the word understandable and applicable with language barriers. And this is what we WANT to talk about! Not because we have to or that it's our "job", but because this is becoming the very core and center of who we are.

It blew my mind when I realized this tonight. The shift has taken place so gradually, we've moved into it without thinking. Not that it didn't come without challenge or that I wasn't without passion for God's word before. But I feel for the first time I can say He is truly first and foremost in my life and all else stems from this. The realization hit me tonight for the first time and filled me with such joy.

This evening was my first time leading a meeting on my own as Tersia couldn't make it. It was awesome. Two days before we had asked that they read John 1, which was probably a mistake because they only have the original King James Bible. But I sat and we read the first fourteen verses together out of my Bible, which I explained and paraphrased before having them repeat what it means and says about Jesus to them. It was powerful seeing the light go on in their eyes, hearing them translate to each other, and hearing their opinions.

I've had dreams at times of preaching the Gospel, or living out my life with the poor. I dreamed again last night of being home, but I was passionately sharing the 'God story' and living out the Gospel, while preparing to go out again to "the nations". For the first time I woke to the knowledge that my dreams are a reflection of my waking life! Incredible. May it continue to be so.

God is amazing! He is teaching me and growing me so much. But even as He refines me and sloughs off the dead and rough edges, bringing challenges and conviction, He daily teaches me my worth. Every day I see His love and faithfulness to me as I learn to more clearly hear His voice and follow the leading of His Spirit.

Our Ministry by Aaron Marshal (leader and fellow teammate)

2009-06-01T02:17:00.000-07:00

There are 10 christian tv channels and an infantry of churches and cults in Vic Falls, so the environment is very “religious”. Strangely though there is a huge shortage of bibles here. That being said there is much heresy and false doctrine floating around. It was very discouraging at first, especially at bible studies when people would start voicing false statements about God and the Gospel. A few of our team members attended a crusade where the leaders were blatantly scamming the people for money in the name of Jesus. Nearly everyone believes that they earn their way to heaven and that if they have enough faith God will do anything for them. Many people lean heavy on the TV evangelists, who focus on healing, prophecy and prosperity twisting biblical truth and forming “religious” idols.

Our strategy initially was to lead inductive bible studies as we began to focus on a few key people. Once we discovered the goofy doctrine floating in we shifted gears to teaching God’s story and personal stories and that is when things began to change. Telling the story helped the people see that they didn’t really know the Gospel. Telling the story also made them hungry to know more. We are now teaching them to tell the God story, with good initial results. We hope to record some of them and share it with you. We are using 5 chapters; Creation/Rebellion/Sacrifice/Redemption/Commission. We give them verses under each chapter and help them to summarize each scripture and combine all the summaries into a story. It’s powerful to watch them help each other expand the story from their own personal study. Occasionally a new section will pop up in someones God’s story that we didn’t teach them ourselves.

When we discover a specific idol/sin that the group dealing with, we integrate scripture into the God’s story aimed at that issue. For example, Munya told the God story to a group and placed special emphasis on sacrifice, addressing the issue of traditional animal sacrifice for ancestors. The results were immediate and a man who is a “church goer” repented of having sacrificed chickens that week to his ancestors. He is now one of the key guys that we are working with, and he craves to hear the Gospel explained. Last night we read Galatians with him and unpacked the first several verses that discuss false gospel. Being a common false belief here, we talked extensively about not being able to earn your way to heaven. With glazed watery eyes he responded by saying this “right this very second there is a preacher in Vic Falls that is preaching that I have to go to church and tithe or I will go to hell, what you guys are telling me is just melting me, its amazing”. Needless to say you can see this guy being set free the more and more we explore the Gospel with him.

We have redefined our strategy a bit. Rather than focusing on starting reproducing communities we want people to have a rich understanding of the Gospel. We don’t want to start anything that doesn’t start and end with the Gospel. You can see the freedom in peoples eyes, they are at the foothills of adoring Christ.

To be totally honest I think we all feel like we are in the foothills of adoring Christ. There have been times of severe discouragment for our team as we battle through dietary issues, team tension and totally foggy vision of what we are suppose to be doing here. Repeatedly hearing the Gospel and attempting to share it has been the redeeming element of everything that we have done here. God is loving us, He is showing up at just the right times, and He is making a difference in the community.

The Adventures of Living

2009-06-01T02:12:00.000-07:00

Daily living is so crazy and quirky and beyond the norm, half the time
we don't know whether to laugh or cry. Usually we just carry on
without thinking about it, though on occasion we temporarily go
insane. A missionaries' life is neither exotic or romantic, but no
one can deny it's an adventure! Every aspect of daily living is a
challenge, yet it's amazing how quickly we adapt.

We do our laundry by hand, last time I peeled the skin right off my
knuckle while scrubbing. Tersia has since introduced me to the method
of on treading the clothes with my feet. Wringing out my towel is an
experience unto itself. Our showers are open cement stalls, only one
of which has hot water. And if someone decides to use water in
another part of the house you lose yours. A lot of yelling back and
forth takes place in the mornings.

Our current mode of eating is enough to make a carboholic go on the
Atkins diet for life. The staple food here is sadza-or maize meal-a
fine corn porridge substance cooked in a variety of ways for any meal.
I am quickly developing the African booty. We drink coffee like
water, trying to make up for the energy crashes from lack of protein
and good sleep.

But in the midst of the craziest circumstances we make some of our
favorite memories. Loss of power to load shedding is becoming much
less frequent. However, last week we lost both water and electricity;
as soon as one came back on the other went off. So there we were,
sitting on the cement floor of our kitchen eating by the light of one
candle, sharing stories and laughter. Having no sweets, Tersia passed
out packets of orange cool-drink powder and we sat dipping and licking
it off our fingers, laughing hysterically over the pathetic picture we
presented. If they could see us now! God has a sense of humor. But
in every circumstance-the good and bad, the fun and difficult, the
crazy and the awe inspiring-He comes through and meets us where we're
at, proving His love and faithfulness

Elephant!!

2009-05-15T12:16:00.001-07:00

I was in the midst of falling into a deep sleep when my dreams became influenced by outside noises. Dogs were barking, followed by a heavy scuffling and blowing, joined by the sounds of running, clapping and calling. Suddenly reality broke through the dreaming as the Tandis knocked on our doors, calling out "Girls! Girls! Elephant, elephant!"

In a state of disorientation and excitement we hastily threw aside our mosquito netting and flew outside. Tersia forgot about her netting entirely and just about took the whole bed with her. We ran into the yard to find Aaron and Nichole with Mama and Papa Tandi, all in our pjs in the pitch black night without lights. I climbed atop our truck trailer to see. Across the street a great shadow stood out from the rest, swaying and blowing heavy gusts. Not ten meters away was an elephant!

Our excitement and awe was beyond measure, even without being able to see it clearly. It was delightful to see Mama and Papa behave like little children over it, though they are used to these happenings. Some neighborhood men were in the road, yelling and throwing stones to drive the elephant away. That in itself made my breath catch, not knowing if that would drive it off or provoke it.

Eventually it turned and proceeded down the main road, but stopped at a house to feed on-and consequently destroy-their trees. Being the completely rational people that we are we immediately ran into the street to see. We moved down the road to within fifteen meters of the beast, nothing between us if he decided to charge. We were even laughing and making a joke over the fact that if we had to run for it, we'd be in a sticky situation with all of us trying to make it through our narrow gate at once. But standing there, exposed and unprotected in the presence of such power, even danger, I was struck by what it means to serve and be in the presence of our God. How great and terrifyingly wonderful! What an awesome God.

Upon returning to bed we were told that the elephants (there was another in the bush) would most likely come back. Less than an hour later we heard Aaron outside our window, "Girls, they're back, they're back!!" Leaping up on our beds we swept aside the curtain and looked out. Christine was standing on my bed behind me, her body between my nets and the bed frame.

Outside the first elephant was passing by our wall, while Aaron jumped around taking pictures and we whispered excitedly. Bats swooped around in the dark; Aaron laughed, "I'm living the Discovery channel!" But what followed caused our very hearts to stop.

Coming just after the first was the largest elephant I've ever seen, not seven meters from where we sat in the window and a mere meter from where Aaron stood at the wall. Twice his height, it's head was wide as he was tall. As it came across from us it turned it's mighty head to look directly at us; you could hear it's heavy breath and the flap of it's ear as it turned, it's eyes shone bright in the night. For a moment my breath was stolen from me, never have I experienced anything like it.

As the elephant finally moved on, Aaron voiced the only possible thought. "What do you do, what do you do?" Indeed. As we finally lay down to sleep again, Tersia summed it up. "THAT was a gift from God." Amen.

Zimbabwe

2009-05-15T12:14:00.000-07:00

"The Eagle is flying; the Eagle is flying."

"This is the Gray Squirrel, we copy that."

"This is the Black Pearl, we've got your back."

So began our drive to Zimbabwe, caravanning and communicating with three vehicles and walki-talkis. It was a time of bundu-bashing, driving over three days from South Africa up through Botswana to Zimbabwe. We encountered elephants in the road and potholes as big as swimming pools in Botswana; bathroom breaks consisted of "Boys on the left, girls on the right" with the general rule of, "If you see a lion, grab the pants-leave the toilet paper!" Upon crossing the Zimbabwean border we were greeted by a herd of ten or more giraffes.

We arrived in the village of Chinotimba to no power and no accommodation prepared as was planned, and were greeted by a church that expected us to fall in with their denomination and programs. We ended up sleeping on the floors of a local family's house for three days and explaining to the church our method of planting Jesus in communities and not joining events. But through this we were blessed by the hospitality and open hearts of the people-in their warmth and how they helped bear our burden-and we developed a good understanding and relationship with the church.

In the following days we found a house to rent for the entire team with the Tandi family, and began going out prayer walking and forming relationships in the community. A highlight was when thirty children knelt in the street to give their hearts to Christ.

On a personal level, we have all been so challenged by God to lay down our idols and the comforts we cling to. Every day is a challenge-living in tight quarters, cooking over a single propane burner on the cement floor of our "kitchen", losing power almost every night because of load shedding. But God has said to us, "Shake yourself free, undo the chains that bind you!" And through this He is bringing freedom to our hearts and greater unity in our team. One of our most memorable and enjoyable evenings was when we lost power-again-and ended up cooking spaghetti bolognaise with soya mince over our burner, on the front porch under the stars. We followed it with s'mores and lots of laughter.

Living in Victoria Falls, you would think it is such an incredible blessing to be so near one of the seven wonders of the world. But an even greater blessing is the constant faithfulness of God as we daily die to self and learn greater humility and love. We are not content to travel around the same mountain twice but conquer each as it comes, personally and in the communities. We are excited to see what God has in sore for these next two months!

On Our Way!!

2009-04-27T06:01:00.000-07:00

The autumn weather continues here with varied degrees of beauty and discomfort. The cold and damp seeps into everything, making it impossible to feel truly warm or dry and prolonging colds. But the beauty can be breathtaking. We drove through Cape Town University's upper campus just to see the leaves. Shrouded in mist, we moved between aged brown buildings draped with ivies in various shades of scarlet and orange. All that night we could hear the ships at sea hooting in the fog in order to avoid collision. We stood on our deck after dark in order to hear them and watch the city lights under the dusky clouds.

This week my team is preparing to leave for Zimbabwe on May 2nd. I can't believe it's come up so fast! Sunday morning Tersia, Nichole and I drove to the open-air flea market in Muizenburg to purchase long pants and makeshift sarongs to wear over them for modesty. We are both nervous and excited, planning all the last minute details and getting ready to pack. It will be a three day drive, with seven of us in one vehicle and our luggage in a trailer, camping on the way up. That alone will be an adventure in itself! If we survive that we should be able to survive anything *wink-wink*

We will be living for two months near Victoria Falls, a massive tourist location and melting pot for the various tribes. Our goal is to plant simple churches within families and circles of influence that will be self-sustaining and able to reproduce. Our heart is to see Jesus transform lives!

While praying over our outreach, God gave Tersia a vision for our team. She saw us standing on the shore by gentle waves, but on the other side was a massive tidal wave. God said we have a choice. We can wade into the waves and get our feet wet, have a wonderful experience and come back and tell what God did in Zimbabwe. Or we can rush out and be caught up in the tidal wave that is Him, and the mighty work that He wants to do. It involves risk and trust, but if we will abandon ourselves to Him He will bring about things beyond what we can do in our own strength. He will not let us be swept away or sucked under, but lift us up to ride the wave in with Him.

So I ask for prayer. Pray that we would abandon ourselves to Him. Pray we would be sensitive to His Spirit and follow wherever He leads. Ask for holy boldness and divine speech. Pray for continued unity in our team, above all that we would be unified in seeking after our Father's heart. Pray also for safety, health, wisdom, and patience and joy in sacrifice.

Thank you for joining with us in prayer and faith. What an awesome privilege to stand together in furthering the Kingdom! May you know the blessings of God's love and favor, and the challenge of His calling!

This Grand Adventure

2009-04-18T05:39:00.000-07:00

I am constantly amazed by the ways God works in our lives; by His faithfulness and how much He can bring about in such a short time. My team was reminiscing and laughing recently over our first days here and meeting each other. It seems like so long ago! Another time and season. My beloved roommate Tersia just confided that our first night together she could hardly understand a word I said with my American accent and was completely freaking out. Ha! Well, we've certainly moved beyond the barriers of communication, now you can't get us to shut up!

Last month All Nations had a retreat/conference for all their members and missionaries, which they made available to any CPx students who are considering joining. The weekend was packed and at times overwhelming, but it was a wonderful experience. One morning that touched me was when Isabel Paterson shared, who is a friend of the McClungs, fellow missionary, and leader of CPx in Kansas City. This beautiful seventy-year-old woman went to the front, and before anything else got out her ukeleli and sang I Surrender. Her voice was still clear and strong, so sweet. Afterwords she shared her story of God's love, calling, and faithfulness in her life. Watching and listening to her, I saw the woman I want to be in 50 years. I had the blessing and privilege of speaking and praying with her as well. God really used her to bless and encourage me.

Easter weekend was our one and only break-four days to do whatever we wanted! I spent it with my friend Christianne, an intern from Alaska. The weekend was a blessed respite from the constant mental and emotional exertion and daily routines, though there was no lack of activity! There was a girls slumber party featuring loads of chocolate, cheap wine in a box, story telling, and heart sharing. The following day with minimum sleep a group of us climbed Chapmans Peak on pure adrenaline. It was breathtaking, overlooking the crystal, aquamarine waters of Hout Bay surrounded by mountains-what an awesome God! Sunday evening following our Easter celebration we had an amusing movie night. Watching Ice Age with the Germans, Africans, and Americans, we busted out laughing over the line "I don't know about your guys, but this is the funniest herd I've ever seen." Ironic.

This week we had a beautiful and encouraging experience during our outreach time at Greenmarket Square. Our team has been struggling a bit with discouragement over our ministry; it's a difficult environment for me, Tersia and Nichole to have a deep relationship with the ladies there, and we wonder about our "effectiveness". Then Promise, one of the ladies we've been sharing and praying with, told us how she spoke at her church on Easter Sunday, sharing on God's faithfulness in her life. She told us, "I was in the dark, and you brought the light. Now I am in the light; I have hope and I want everyone else to walk in the light." Praise God! He takes our humble, feeble efforts and uses them for His glory. You should see the smile on Promises face! If we accomplished nothing else in our time here that would be enough.

As the lecture phase draws to a close and we approach the halfway mark for CPx, I am putting more thought into my plans for after. God has shown me that this is a season for being poured in to-of learning and growing and pressing in to Him. He has said not to worry, that He will reveal His plans in the proper time. While resting in this, I am prayerfully considering coming back for the internship next year. Please join with me in praying for clear direction and peace. Wherever this road takes, what a privilege and grand adventure it is to serve our God!

Fire on the Mountain

2009-03-21T09:10:00.000-07:00

Wednesday morning (if you can call 1:30 morning-ugh!) was probably the most terrifying and hysterical experience of my life! I woke up to what I thought was the most obnoxious car alarm ever. But after 10 minutes of it not ceasing I realized also that I smelled smoke-a bit disconcerting during dry season when fires have already been frequent. Proceeding to the window I saw a smoky sky tinged with luminous hues. That's when I woke up my roommate.

I half hissed half choked "Tersia! The sky is orange!" She responded by nonchalantly looking out the window and stating "Oh yeah-something is burning", and proceeded to the loo. I must say I was floored-then again that's about how Tulsa responds to tornadoes. Unconvinced by her flippancy I ran up the stairs to the deck. Table Mountain sits maybe only a mile away from our house. The entire sky behind it and above us was filled with smoke, and the mountain was completely lit with an orange glow. (And through this entire story the sirens continued to wail). At that point Tersia emerged from the loo, promptly swore, and FLEW up the stairs to join me. If the look on her face was a reflection of mine I don't even know how to describe it to you. We must have looked half crazed and half stoned.

Minutes later we proceeded back to our room to calmly decide on a reaction. No one else was awake, not even the homeowners were stirring. So we called our leader Munyradzi. (A little explanation, our rooms are all separate units which open into the walled back patio and pool area. Our fire plan-no joke-is to immediately leave our rooms and jump in the pool). Waking up Munya, I explained the circumstances and expressed our concern. To which he replied with complete sincerity, "Tell me you're not in the pool." After our hysterical laughter ceased we explained and he came out to check.

The second time around on the deck you could see massive flames burning on our side of the mountain! Again...half crazed. Nonplussed, Munya reassured us, gave us a radio, and went back to bed. ??!!?? So with smoke and ash blowing through our window and sirens blaring we tuned in to the ONLY radio station broadcasting a response to the fire. That was an experience unto itself.

I swear, the guy broadcasting the radio show only got the job because he knew no one would be listening at that hour and he wouldn't have to do anything. As Tersia said at one point, "Who made you king of the castle?" I doubt if he'd ever had to cover anything before. At one point after a break he began with, "We're here talking about the fire. That's burning. On the mountain." Thank you for clearing that up!

Around 2:30 we had ascertained that there was nothing to be done, we would be evacuated if needed, and no one else was concerned. Having laughed ourselves silly over every crazy circumstance, we did the only sensible thing left, and went back to bed. The next morning the entire portion of the mountain was black, as well as surrounding areas. It is still incredible to me how dangerous the situation really was and could have become. But as it was, the crazy circumstances and happenings throughout the evening so far surpassed any fears, all we could do was laugh. And every moment I think back on it, it's all I remember! And it's all I do = ) Then again, sometimes what else can you do?

In This Place...

2009-03-11T07:36:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe I have reached the one month mark already! It has gone by so fast it's unbelievable. Yet the time has been so full it seems like much longer. The thought of writing a sufficient update is daunting but I will do my very best.

We have been learning about simple church and how to plant growing, reproduceable small churches. There is also a HUGE focus on community and living in a "Kingdom Culture" that transcends all others, as well as pressing in to the Father-heart of God. The leaders here really pour themselves into us; we are surrounded by love and grace, as well as Godly example and encouragement.

This past week we had a guest speaker from Scotland, Joe Ewen, who taught on the Holy Spirit. The teaching was eye-opening and challenging, as well as exciting. On his last day Joe spoke on the gift of prophesy, after which he gave us instruction and then had us do exercises in speaking over each other. It was incredible; this has been an area I've really struggled with and lacked confidence in, and God spoke through me! He is stretching me in every way.

All students at CPx are divided into small teams-or simple churches-for focus and accountability, and as outreach teams. All the teams but mine are ministering in the three townships (massive tent cities) of Red Hill, Ocean View, and Masiphumelele. My team is based in the city, and has chosen Green Market Square at our outreach focus.

Green Market Square is an open market in the middle of the city, surrounded by shops and restaurants, where vendors from every nation and religion of Africa and even Asia come to sell merchandise and scrape together a living. Two or more times a week we come simply to form relationships with the people here, sitting and talking, sharing and listening to each other's stories, and encouraging and praying with them. Already we have made friends with several beautiful women. Sandra, Angel, and Titie from Congo, and Promise from here in South Africa. We are praying for Promise in her marriage, and that God would give her a child. We are believing that by the time we leave, she will be pregnant!

Relationships within my team at our house continue to grow. Each member is such a blessing to each other, as well as a delight! We have such fun together. Fridays have now been dubbed "Braai-days" when we cook out, and have over any other students and friends. The Americans have now introduced s'mores and root beer floats, and the South Africans have indoctrinated us into braai broodtjies-tomato, onion and cheese grilled between buttered slices of bread. Ahhhhhhh...

Outside of outreach, my roommate Tersia and I are involved in the process of setting up the first prayer room for All Nations and CPx. We've received incredible favor and much progress has been made. We are excited to opening it this week. I am also a part of the first CPx drama team, and loving every minute! Our first drama is a pantomime put to music portraying the creation, fall, and redemption of man. I am playing the role of Eve as a representation of mankind. I never come alive so much as when I get to worship in this way. Floyd is looking forward to launching us soon.

On a more personal level, the Lord is doing truly wonderful things in my life. He is really wooing my heart and teaching me to more clearly hear His voice and press in to Him. His future plans are yet to be revealed

South Africa!

2009-02-15T10:12:00.000-08:00

The adventure has begun! My first time flying alone and I successfully navigated two of the largest airports in the US and Europe. By a sheer miracle of God I found fellow student Elizabeth at Frankfurt, and spent the day seeing the city (BTW, had some of the best pizza and beer I have ever experienced!)

Two days and six hours of sleep later I arrived to the hottest day yet of South African summer. You can (and I have) experience four seasons in one day here, and the winds are tremendous- but blessedly cool. This is the most glorious and beautiful country. We drove over the mountains to reach Africa House, every scene breathtaking.

I am living with six others on the lower level of a missionary couple's house. My roommate is a beautiful South African woman named Tersia, she is becoming a great friend and teaching me an Afrikaanse word each day, her native language. We are joined by a wonderful American couple Aaron and Nichole, and three young African men-when I know how to spell their names I will tell you.

Our home is 40 minutes away from the rest of the 46 students, who live at the Team House and Africa House, where our lectures are. I confess it was difficult for me to be so separate, but God has blessed me tremendously. Each day He has confirmed his word that I would be matched with the people I need to be matched with; we are a family.

In one week God has been confirming His promises and faithfulness over and over; I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am where He has called me during this season. I have been so blessed by the love and leadership of founders Floyd and Sally McClung, and the rest of the leadership team. Every day I am blown away as I form relationships with my fellow students-from the US, UK, Holland, Germany, the Netherlands, and all regions of Africa. In one week I have been ministered to through teaching and small groups, we have visited two of the townships where outreach is taking place, walked by the sea, and climbed a mountain!

I am excited to see the move of God and what He has in store for this season. Please continue to pray for me in the joys and challenges that lie ahead. May you no the riches of His love and blessings deeply in your own lives.

How I Got Here

2009-01-20T15:52:00.000-08:00

'Now the Lord said to Abram, "Go forth from your country, and from your relatives, and from your father's house, to the land which I will show you"' -Genesis 12:1

When God called Abraham, He did not tell him where he was going, when he would get there, or what he would be doing. He simply said "Go. Follow where I lead, walk in faith, and I will show you when you get there." And for this God promised him blessing, and that through Abraham the nations would be blessed.

God has been shaping my life in much the same way. The story of Abraham has spoken to me often these past few years. Like Abraham, God has said to me "Go, leave your comfort zone and everything familiar, walk in faith one step at a time, and I will show you when you get there." In this season now, He is leading me to South Africa.

It has been an interesting journey that led me to this point. It was certainly unexpected! In my life and heart there have been dreams and desires which have remained constant, growing and shaping over time. Above all have been my desires for family and to serve in ministry. God has placed in me a burden for the poor and a heart for broken women, a gift of hospitality and a desire to serve. But as usual, God's timing and plans in bringing things about were not mine.

I found myself in what seemed a season of waiting; changes in jobs that took me no closer to my "purpose", being asked to surrender my hearts desires, moving away from certain circles and pursuits but not moving forward in anything else. It was very discouraging, until I realized that no season is without purpose, no time is more or less important to God. He calls us to a life of active obedience and service in all circumstances. I was not going to waste another minute.

I began seeking God in how He would have me invest this time. As a family was not a part of His present plan I looked into methods of greater training and experience for ministry. Little did I know the turn that would take! Through prayer and counsel with family, pastors and friends, my attention was directed to All Nations in South Africa.

A missions organizations run by Floyd and Sally McClung, with whom my church has worked closely, they run a missions training program called the Church Planting Experience (CPx). After much prayer and counsel I applied-and was accepted!! So this February I will be moving to Cape Town, South Africa. For the first three months I will be involved in classes exploring faith, ministry and evangelism, and church planting, while actively ministering in surrounding townships. The following months I will go with a team to take part in a church plant. During this time I will be prayerfully considdering staying for a long term internship with All Nations through next December.

I am excited by this opportunity which God has provided. I have no "plan" for the future, simply to follow where He leads. For the present He is leading me to South Africa. I look forward with great anticipation to what He will bring about there, and where He will lead me after-whether to stay, return, or go elsewhere! But I have never had greater peace than I do now, knowing that as I have no plan of my own, whatever takes place will be His!